thinking about sending this MsLonely: I wrote this letter to my husband whom I'm seperated from last night. I am thinking about sending it but I doubt he will read it so I may just call him up and read it to him. But I don't know if it sounds way too desperate:
I’ll try to keep this short but you know how good I am at that…
Well I have to tell you that I forgive you, for everything. Of course I am only human and I can’t forget but I’m just going to let it go. I want things to work out with us so bad and I know that can’t happen if I am holding a grudge against you. I’m going to stick by you no matter what. You stuck by me through some shit that I don’t know any guy would have and for that I can never repay you. Every time I even start to get mad at you I feel so guilty but I guess that is the price I have to pay and a very small one at that. Anytime anyone wants to make you out to be an asshole I can’t help but think if they only knew and I know you have to feel that way sometimes too. That doesn’t mean that I’m not still hurt. I’m hurt deeply and hopefully eventually I will get over it. So just don’t do it again, okay. Just because I am forgiving you doesn’t make it okay. Jesus said, “go and sin no more.” He forgives us because he loves us but that doesn’t mean he condones our sin. It means he wants to give us another chance to do right. I know you are probably thinking all this is bullshit and that’s your right. I am not going to try to push my beliefs on you but I am just explaining where I am coming from and keep in mind that it is because of my beliefs that I have continued to give you my undying love and commitment and forgiven you. I don’t have to tell you, as much of a bitch that you think I am, you know I could have made your life hell if I had really wanted to.
I was reading the old letters you sent me and I would give anything for you to feel that way about me again. You used to make me feel like a queen. And well now, I know you can’t control the way you feel. You can’t just flip a switch and make yourself fall in love with me again. You can tell me “whatever” all you want but I know the truth because the fact remains you still haven’t told me you love me despite me basically asking you to. I know you. You won’t come out and tell me your feelings for me are gone because I know you don’t want to intentionally hurt me but you don’t have to say it. After all, its not your words that mean anything anyway but your actions. So, yeah, I appreciate you not lying to me and telling me you love me when you really don’t mean it but still I can’t help but wish that you did still feel the same way about me. Tell me- was it something I did/ didn’t do or did you simply just fall out of love? And if you can just fall out of love was it ever truly love to begin with? And if it wasn’t true love then why am I wearing this ring? Because if that is the way it is this ring is just a lie… I guess a lie that I want to believe.
You know as much as I want to be happy I want you to be happy. I pray for you all the time. Its all I really can do because I know nobody can make Mr. Stubborn do anything. I just know that going to church and renewing my faith in God has brought me so much happiness and peace I can’t even describe it. Call it being brainwashed if you want but regardless of what it is I am happy despite all the shit I have been dealing with. I told you I wouldn’t ask you to go to church and I won’t. But just know I won’t stop praying for you and if by some miracle you ever decide you want to give it a try the invitation is always there.
Re: thinking about sending this lost enigma: Did he cheat on you?
Re: thinking about sending this MsLonely: yeah, while I was pregnant with our youngest daughter and the whole time I was pregnant he refused to acknowledge the baby. And he said a whole bunch of mean and nasty stuff to me like he didn't care if the baby died and when he saw the ultrasound he said it looked reatrded. Oh yeah, and our 4 year old caught him in the act with the OW.
Re: thinking about sending this lost enigma: OH GOD WOMAN
Why the hell are you giving him the time of day?!?!?
I understand that you are hurting right now. But he is not human. To say such things about your babies. That is not right.
Dont send the letter
Dont call him
Let him learn
you can do this, we are all here to help you
Re: thinking about sending this Roe: As someone who has been through something similar, I know my advice will be hard to practice. This man doesn't see the value in you. Maybe he used to but he doesn't anymore. That's why he did those things. He knew you'd forgive him at some point. He knew he would be taken back. Please keep in mind that we show people how to treat us. That is, by what we tolerate from others, we either let them walk all over us or we don't. I see that you care deeply for him and there is nothing wrong with that. But think about it like this. Would you ever commit the malicious acts that he did and still expect to be loved and cared for by your significant other? Would you expect to be taken back? I doubt it. The best (and hardest) thing for you to do right now is to walk away from him. He doesn't need this letter to know how you feel. Trust me, he knows. By walking away, you show him that you are strong, sensible, and independent. You demonstrate to him that you will not be taken advantage of. You will not be a victim for his cause. If he does grow up and makes a change then let him come to you. Like most men, he needs to be faced with what he's lost before he can truly see the value in what he had.
-Roe
