Re:Strange sadness bit pusher: I sincerely hope it works out for you Ostia ... in my case, it turns out I'm way too screwed up at this point to avoid scaring a woman off, but at least my little attempt at normalcy brought that to the surface. Sounds like you've found someone who doesn't care if you take a little extra effort ... this seems to be a very, very good thing.
Take care.
Re:Strange sadness ostia: Thanks for the kind words, Bit Pusher. I do feel pretty good about things at the moment, but it really is amazing how complicated recovering from a divorce really can be, even if the divorce itself is "uncomplicated" compared to others. I have no kids, for example, and that helps a lot, and I'm still living in the same town and in the same apartment, so the external disruption is relatively minimal...but the emotional disruption is huge, as we all know, and it keeps manifesting in new ways...
Good luck to you, too.....
Re:Strange sadness mv2: Ostia I can so totally relate - it's almost as if I feel guilty, like I am cheating, that I am now in a relationship with someone I really like.
And the other thing I keep doing is looking at critically - trying to find the flaws in this relationship that might be there to cause me the pain I had from the last one.
Then I feel anger all ober agin at my ex- for haunting the good thing that has come along, for making me a bit jaded and fearful.
Re:Strange sadness ostia: [quote author=mv2 link=board=6;threadid=2029;start=0#msg18284 date=1076623294">
And the other thing I keep doing is looking at critically - trying to find the flaws in this relationship. Then I feel anger all ober agin at my ex- for haunting the good thing that has come along, for making me a bit jaded and fearful.
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Ugh...I relate completely!!
I feel like I'm looking over this poor guy with a magnifying lens trying to find flaws...like I could somehow make up for being undercritical when I got involved with my X by being wildly overcritical now. I just feel like I have no idea what to think at all. So I'm just trying to trust my gut feelings about him and the relationship rather than thinking myself into corners...but it's very hard, and I totally resent my X for turning me into this guarded, suspicious, jaded person.... :-\ :P
Re:Strange sadness mv2: Yes Ostia - it seems as though we need to learn to "trust our instincts" and stop over-analyzing the new relationship!! I am convinced that time will come - and in the meantime I try to strike a balance between sharing my feelings about this with my new girlfriend and not burdening the realtionship with it TOO much....
