I really need your help today. wakepner: You know when you get to a point where you are feeling good and you are going to make it? Well...then something always happens.
I have moved on and I think made hreat strides in my life. I have not talked to my ex since last April for taxes. He them pops up this morning by emailing me about taxes this year. I am a mess! I am a teacher and I am at school and in tears. Why does this have to happen!?! I wish I could stop feeling any feelings for him.
Up until a week ago if you would have asked me if I would ever consider taking him back I would have said NO! A couple weeks ago I really started missing him and what we had at one time. I know, he really destroyed me when he left, blah, blah, blah. The fact is that I miss him and this is not what I needed. It has been over a year and I thought these feelings would never come up again.
Please help...I am scared about how I am feeling and don't know what to do.
Re:I really need your help today. niceguy: Remember when you said it seems like we have bad days together. Samething happened to me with my X this weekend. Taxes came and we also decided to sort through our pictures. Well you already know the punch line.
I'm sorry you are going through this today, but just remember you have come so far. There will always be times when you think back...this too shall pass. It's ok to miss him and what you had, but it doesn't mean that there isn't something so much better out there. I'm sure it's soon to come along.
Niceguy
Re:I really need your help today. ostia: HavingFun,
I'm so sorry you're feeling like this today. :-[It's amazing how those feelings can pop up so unexpectedly. I think the important thing to remember is that the fact that you still have feelings for your X doesn't necessarily mean that you want him back...it might just mean that you really loved him, and he hurt you terribly, and so of course having contact with him will affect you emotionally.
I sympathize, because I feel like I'm doing well at moving on with my life, but I know that if I had to deal with my STBX directly, I'd become a basket case again...I'm actually glad that he moved to another state and pretty much dropped off the face of the earth...
Hang in there....
Ostia
Re:I really need your help today. wolly1234: I know how you feel, but the fact of the matter, I am coming to realize, is there is that I am going to have to learn to deal with those feelings. I know this is probally an unhealthy way of dealing with it, but lately this is what I try: I try to seperate the dream of what I thought our marriage was from the reality of it. I never wanted this, either. Still don't, but it wasn't my choice, so there is nothing I can do about it except go on. I remember all the reasons, or at least the big ones of what led to this. I remember how angry I was and why, for just long enough to make the pain dull a bit. As much as my screwed up brain is wired to want her back, most of it tells me it would be more of the same pain only leading to this very same place again in the future with that much more of my life wasted. Somewhere out there is the woman of my dreams, and she is waiting for me to fix myself, get it together, and find her. Maybe it would work for you as well. Remember a time that they pissed you off so bad... or you were hurt so bad, and why would they do that to you. Sort of a Ying Yang thing. And when the two cancel each other out, let them both go, and smile, because you are now free to move on and find what it is that really makes you happy.
I envy you, a teacher, huh? I love kids, and miss mine a lot.
Re:I really need your help today. JimB: [quote">
Please help...I am scared about how I am feeling and don't know what to do.
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One of the big problems I'm starting to have with Dr. Phil and his ilk is that he seems to embrace the philosophy that there's always something you can DO. Not every situation requires that you do something. If it's not clear what you should do, do nothing. Not likely that it'll make things any worse, right?
You're strong, HF. This too shall pass. Tomorrow is another day.
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