Re:Birds of a feather wolly1234: THanks you guys. It just shocked me, all the similarities. THe dreams part I don't know about. I'm just blank in that area. Sometimes I do briefly dream of maybe finding the right person someday to share my life with, but it seems a million miles away. It seems like when you get my age, anyone who isn't with someone,,,, well, there's a reason. Everyone has baggage. Including me right now. It's just going to be a long time before I am who I want to be, again.
But your words help. THey help a lot. Thank you.
Re:Birds of a feather Brian75034: Wolly,
One of the toughest lessons *I* had to learn from getting divorced is that I could NOT place my happiness on whether I had a wife, kids, or family. Something like that is NOT a God-given right. Unfortunetly.
I had to take what society deems to be the end all and be all of living, and change that around. I had to learn to try to live a fulfilled life on my own.
And per chance, IF I find someone to marry- then great! And then if per chance, I can have kids, thats great too. But, if not, then thats just ok. My life is not anyless worthy or fullfilled than the guy with a wife and 5 kids.
So, I refuse to define my life by what "society" deems I should have.
And ONCE you can let go of all that, THEN you are truly living!
(on a side note- once I let go of it all and found contentness within myself, bam, I found a really great girl. ;-) )
B
Re:Birds of a feather Buggs: Just to add to what's been said, by focusing on what your own dreams are ( that famous list) and chasing those dreams you just might bump into someone else who shares similar dreams too. There is no rule book out there that states you have to be at a certain place in your life by a certain age, the only rule book you need to follow is the one that make syou happy, and you are the author ;D
Hang in there, have a listen to the U2 song "stuck in a moment"....it's just a moment, this time will pass.
Cheers
Re:Birds of a feather Spectrum: [quote author=wolly1234 link=board=1;threadid=2039;start=0#msg17848 date=1075913990">
It seems like when you get my age, anyone who isn't with someone,,,, well, there's a reason. Everyone has baggage. Including me right now.
[/quote">
Perhaps, then, you should open your mind to the possibility of a younger woman? ;)
I'm going to give you the same advice you gave me the other day.... There are women out there who have been through the same thing you have, who would never do to you what your wife did.
Some of them are younger, and relatively baggage-free..... If you can take the HUGE leap and exclude a previous horrible relationship from the baggage category.
Take me for example- I am 25, and I fully intend to explore my grief as much as necessary, and get on with my life. My divorce should be final within a month or two, and when it is over, I'm going to live my life like I almost lost it (which, in a way, I almost did).
And I'm never going to let a man compromise or belittle my dreams and happiness ever again... But if he is very special, I might share them with him. :)
Spectrum.
Re:Birds of a feather wolly1234: You are right. You are SO right. You are a very perceptive person. You took what I have been saying, and made sense of it. Silly at it sounds, I never really thought of it that way. But I am afraid of younger woman in a way. Sometimes them seem a bit,,, well,,,,,,,, fickle. Maybe not all of them, but most. I am 35 years old. Young at heart. Energetic, but worry about keeping up with a woman too young. Although I doubt that would be a problem. Maybe it's more I am afraid the age gap would present differences in interests. Although at 35, I'm still a bit of a metalhead. Although I like other things as well. SOmeone younger just scares me for some reason. Maybe I am not sure why. Although I have to admit, I am definitely attracted that direction. Strange. Stbx was 5 years older. Obviously that didn't work out so well. You may very well be right. Wanna go out? ;D
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