Some questions damn53: I still can't believe this is happening. I love you so much. I always told you that our marriage was the most important thing to me, I am having trouble letting that go. I am not angry anymore, but the pain won't go away. You were my sunshine baby, every day and every night I spent with you was so special to me. What happened to that, why can't you see how special we were together? I never hurt you, abused you, cheated on you, yelled at you or did anything to make you feel inferior. Neither did you, there was always mutual respect, love and admiration. Why did that stop for you? Who are you now? I have never stopped loving you, and I have never hated you. I don't think we can be together ever again no matter what happens now, but then why does it hurt so bad. Why is there a big empty spot inside of me? When will this end? Why can't I stop loving you? Why can't you be friends with me? There are so many things that I can't answer, and I am not sure if I ever will be able to.
Remember being on the beach off teh Mediterranean Sea? Remember our nights together in Spain? Remember walking down the streets of Nerja drinking wine straight from the bottle? Remember X-mas with our families? Rember the anti-war march in Washington? Remember running through the rain from the Dali exhibit in Philadelphia? The three years we spent together were the best years of my life. I want them back, but it won't happen, it can't happen. Why was this torn from me? Why is my heart and soul 1/2 of what it was. What happened to the woman that held me, and loved me, and sung to me? Who are you now? I just love you now, no more anger and resentment, only love. That is so painful to think about, my tears run more now then they did when I first found out. I feel like I can't live without you, but could never live with you. You mean the world to me, and you always have, from the day I first saw you. I can't talk to you right now, and may never be able to again. That kills me inside.
You got the best part of me, but it is time for me to take it back. It is mine, and you can't have it anymore. I have so much love to give, and will never stop loving you, but I am taking back my heart and soul. I don't know if I will ever be able to give them to anyone else but myself, but I need them. I love you, don't forget that, and I will always care about you.
Love,
****
