5 am ramble Safetykc: Sigh,
I had a really down day yesterday. Dealing with the X again, trying to help others in my life I care about whose problems make mine seem puny...going in a million different directions with worries about job, personal relationships, family, life, just got kind of overwhelmed. :-[
I am doing better now, I am lucky that even when I have my downward spirals I get over them fairly quickly.. :)
It's weird though. Just feeling lonely lately, even while surrounded by people. Not sure what that means...just normal blues I guess... :P
Sorry, rambling....Gotta love working these 12 hour night shifts and these 5 am rambles. I think maybe that is wearing on me a little too. I actually am starting to like it in some regards, but it is different. Feel more disconnected from some of my friends who I got used to seeing more during the week post seperation...But, I am off weekends so its not like I don't see them then. So it's not all bad. ;D
Ramble ramble ramble....keep this post a rambling....RambleHIDE! Hee Hee ;) Isn't it funny...(this feeling inside)...HA...no seriously, Isn't it funny, OJAR has really helped me through my darkest days...some times I stay away for a bit, other times I can't seem to resist coming back to lend support and receive support from a darn nice group of people. :-* You all ROCK!
But, have any of you ever felt like as you are making progress when certain stories come up that hit so close to home and you start feeling some of the emotions you felt when it first happened for you? Almost like regression therapy...Seeing someone else running the gamut of the exact emotions you went through during a similar time can put you back in that place again. Not sure where I am going with this...just trying to understand how I feel by writing it...plus it's the 5 am ramble! Whoo Hoo :o
I don't mean that as a knock. The benefits gained from being able to share your experience and from providing and receiving support from others and just having an outlet to vent to others who understand the pain/hurt/healing divorce rollercoaster we are all on VASTLY outweighs and negatives...And those emotions don't last too long. It is all part of recognizing that while a situation or someones feelings might be similar they are not yours and every person and situation is different. Once that realization kicks in the dark thoughts begin to recede...
I don't know. I just felt like posting some of this....Felt like rambling.
Hey, I could start a new column. The Safety 5 am ramble. Blah... :P Going on almost a day with no sleep, a week of these all nighters, the really poor sleep quality during the day, which the only benefit too is there is not much of it...getting used to 4 hours a day.... :-X Anyway, it's strange what thoughts start creeping out of the woodwork....
Out of the woodwork...Makes me think of an old Outer Limits episode....where these alien ant looking things were living in the walls of this old person's house....see...the ramble continues... ;)
Ah well...At least this is my Friday for the week as it is my short week. So just for old times sake.
IT'S FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
Hee Hee...see, that made me feel better already... ;D
Thanks for listening as always!!! ::)
Safety out, (like a light after this week, whew)
Ramble Ramble
P.S.
Damn, just re-read my post....what was I thinking with all those EMOTICON's!?!?! NEEEEEEED Caffeine!!!!! ;)
:) ;) :D ;D >:( :( :o 8) ??? ::) :P :-[ :-X :-\ :-* :'(
Re:5 am ramble Buggs: Ramble away SafetyKc, we are not made out of steel. I don't beleive in surpressing one's feelings, especially when they are sh***y ones. In reading your many replies to others it seems that you are travelling along this road of hell and getting closer to your new destination ( where ever that is, but a happier one no doubt) look at your little episodes as pit stops for more gas for your journey.
All I can say is that perhaps a change in your routine might help, new activity, new interest will spark some "happy" feelings and give you a new drive / challenge ( take a class, learn a new language, take up a new sport). My dad always said, a true friend is a friend who's there in bad times, it's too easy to be there only for the good....so my friend, ramble away anytime at any hour...if it helps the soul then just do it.
Enjoy your looooong week-end!
Cheers
Re:5 am ramble wolly1234: Yes,, :) ramble away. I enjoy it. :) You have a good sense of humor. :D You make me laugh even when talking about the worst, and I think that is good for us all. To laugh :P
Don't let the negativity get you. Just remember you are helping people. Like me for instance. It truly is a help. :) And I thank you for it. All of you. I am going to work hard on being more positive ;D I am getting ready(hopefully) to start 3rd shift, myself, so I will be a fellow member of the vampire club. 8) Back to the funny stares when I am buying beer at 7am. :P Can't sleep at night, anyway, so I might as well work. Be thankful you have a job right now. They are getting scarce in some areas.(like the middle of the Sonoran Desert :-\)
Seriously, keep the ramble going. It'll give me something to look forward to as I drink my beer and watch the sun come up.
After about 700 more posts, I hope to be far enough along in my recovery to help a few others as well :D Like you. Hang in there. ;D
Re:5 am ramble SunnyFlower: 700 more posts, wolly?
AIN'T NO WAY YOU ARE GETTIN' YABB GOD BEFORE I DO, DAMNIT!!
;D
I was here FIRST!!! Hee hee!!
Re:5 am ramble wolly1234: I don't know...when I get in a mood I can type. Play guitar for about an hour to limber the digits.......
PS,,,this is one more on the ol'tally board, huh? ;D
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