Sexual attraction to the Ex. brokenman: Frankly, one of the reasons I am still on Ojar so much is because I have a couple issues that I've yet to resolve. I have been separated for two years now and officially divorced for more than a year. But I haven't moved on in some respects.
One of those respects is that my ex was and still is incredibly attractive to me. She's sort-of my ideal sexual partner. And that is a real dilemma. She cheated. Her actions are repulsive. The fact that she slept with someone else, let alone her awful choice of a new partner, makes her spoiled fruit. The reality of being with her would be repulsive. But the fantasy of what it once was is painfully satisfying.
Anyone else have this dilemma that might have some insight? I am really stuck in a rut because of this. The whole thing is just a mental challenge I have created for myself, so I know it's on me to get over it. I just lack the ability to see how.
Re: Sexual attraction to the Ex. picadilly: Sucks BM, I hope someone here can give you an idea of how to handle that. I haven't seen my ex since the day she left but having put those photo's away (ie: garbage) last week, when I saw her face in them I was a bit sad, disappointed some & disgusted with how she handled everything. So no sexual attraction anymore on my side but I suppose if I had to see her in person, things maybe or may not be any different. All I can say is to always try to remember what she did to you, how you are now because of her actions & learn to realize that she should disgust you more then turn you on.
No help, I know. Be well.
Re: Sexual attraction to the Ex. in_search_of: Gah, its been so long since I have actually seen my ex, I don't know what I would think if I saw him.
For what its worth, when you get out there, and meet other people and have other experiences, you will start to forget what life with her was like...it takes new good memories with non crazy girls to take the place of the ones that you want/need to forget.
Re: Sexual attraction to the Ex. alonewith2: I was in this spot after the first time my husband and I separated. But now that he cheated on me again, the repulsion thing outweighs and sexual desire I once had for him! Now he's no more attractive to me than finding a used condom in the dumpster!!
Re: Sexual attraction to the Ex. Suddenly Single: The minute I knew he cheated.........NOTHING. Didn't so much want to touch his arm. I'm repulsed by the thought of anyone having sex with someone who cheated. I think it lowers yourself even more than them. I would never have touched him again. He is spoiled fruit. I wouldn't touch that with a 500 foot pole.
gross. couldn't do it.
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