Re: All his money BONILLAK: Our apt is $1100, our gas and electric bills run $230-250 a month and expected to be worse this winter, phone runs $100 as he committed us to a plan so he could call his family in Puerto Rico constantly, basic cable of $52(just basically so we can get reception on our tv as we can't have roof antenaes here), $157 a month car insurance, $88 a month for school lunch money average(ea. get $2 a day), $600-650 a month for food(thats $150-175aweek), $60 a month for doctors and monthly RX(my son and I go monthly for asthma, etc.), $40 a month for a pizza once a week, now I'm spending $40 a wk for gas(so aprox. $160 a month), dh spent well over $200-250 a month in gas for his other jobs but I don't have that expense or his lunch expenses anymore. So without him my required bills are $2657 but that does not include any clothing, car repairs or maintence, etc. That price is just what I need to live. The phone I can cut back on come Feb as he put in under a contract. So now I have to go out to work and pay $890 a month for full time daycare plus $450 every 45 days for before/after care for daughter so add this to the $2657 and we have a new total of $3727 a month! So me just looking for work with no work history except being a Mom and wife, I sure won't even clear that amount in a month! I need $1385 up front for my 3yr old to start daycare(thats 1 mo tuition, 1/2 mo security and $50 reg. fee). Plus I need $450 upfront for the 1/4 of before/after care along with $50 reg fee...which totals $1885 just to start the kids in daycares. No judge is going to believe we lived on his $1700 a month.
Re: All his money Trillian: WOW!!! holly crap that is a lot! I just read through the expenses and m jaw about hit the floor. WOW!!! I have a total of about 2000 in expenses a month. SO WOW!!! And out of that 2000 I only get 350 my dumb jackass of an ex for child support, even though he is supposed to pay me 600 a month and then half daycare, which would put him at 800 a month. WHICH would help a hell of a lot more them what I am living on now.
I am soooo sorry that you are going through all this crap. Does your ex get paid under the table at another job? How the heck did you do it on 1700 a month??
Re: All his money BONILLAK: See thats the thing, he has always during our marriage worked a 2nd and even for a few months 3 jobs total with only 1 being on the books. So this is way I'm saying he will be hammered in a courtroom as any judge will see that he had to have done something to supplement the income for many years. He wants me to just say he only worked his main job...I said ok if I do that and then get asked how we survived on that with these bills then what? I'm not lying to benefit him! He decided to leave home not me because I knew the problems this would cause. Granted since he left home here he has quit his 2nd job but thats also not my fault....he quit that job and filed for divorce 4 days later(This I have proof of) I'm not trying to screw him but on his income he is claiming I would get $760-800 a month in child support and with these bills its not feasible...so I am looking for a job but then I will need childcare help from him(50/50) and this is where he says he has a problem as he won't be able to afford that without being left with nothing. I called the state for daycare assistance and they said once I get a job they will look at my income and the fathers and I either won't qualify or if I do there is currently a 18-24 month waiting list. So either way I'm screwed but I can't let my kids be homeless, not can I leave this expensive state so I have no choice but to prove his other incomes and go for what I can. I'm not being nasty per se I'm being realistic. I warned him over the past year that our marriage was rocky to hang in here with me until our youngest started school as it owuld be easier and cheaper for the both of us...he agreed at first then decided to do differently. We never fought much just didn't really have a marriage either but he chose this path so he has to live with the outcome.
Re: All his money in_search_of: Thing is, that is your total bills, and while that is great, the judge is not going to hold him liable for ALL the bills for the house...for instance, the child support, is designed to cover the share of each of the children for food, and for shelter and bills, therfore (choosing round numbers)...if you have 2 children then you will take your mortgage payment and divide by 3 (You plus 2 kids) so say 1200, so 400 per person, so 800 for the kids share, and he would be responsible for half of that, so 400 of the 1200 mortgage. that is the idea behind child support. He does not have to cover all the bills for your house and for his....
Re: All his money WhiskeyGirl: How about providing child care in your home? When my ex left....oh I'm not sure if it was the fifth or sixth time ::) but I had just had my second child and was pregnant with my third. I couldn't do any training, etc. I was screwed too....but I started doing daycare at my place. That way I didn't have to pay for daycare for my kids and its not bad money really....especially when you are paid to stay home with your kids. I can't remember exactly but I had 3 kids and each of them paid full time about 650 per month.....so almost $2000 a month is not bad considering you aren't paying for child care either. Thats something to think about.
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