Re: All his money WhiskeyGirl: I don't know your story but this post really confuses me ???
This is your kids dad you are talking about? Not that it would happen, but would you really like to take every penny he has? Do you want your kids to see their father living with nothing? No matter what your personal feelings are towards him he is always going to be the father of your kids. How do you think they would feel seeing you living just fine, taking all his money, while he has nothing? Just some food for thought for you there.
I am from Canada so I don't know for sure but here it all runs on a sliding scale from his income...it goes by his ability to pay....not by who has the better lawyer.
Of course his lawyer is telling him he can get him this and that and yours will do the same...its no skin off their ass how long this drags out and how much money you waste fighting over this. When its all said and done, you will end up with a percentage of what he makes....and I can garauntee that its not gonna be %110
Sorry girl....what really matters when kids are involved is their feelings. I think they'd be happier to have to cut back at home a bit rather than see their dad suffer.
Re: All his money BONILLAK: It has nothing to do with taking every penny, it has to do with being able to survive. Our bills here for every single penny spent costs $3100 a month. He always paid everything 100% as he never ever wanted me to work and everyone can vouch for that. Believe me there is nothing to scale back on...we live very frugal but in an expensive state. You can rent nothing in this immediate area for less than what we pay, we pay $1100 for a 2 bdrm apt and this is cheap, plus car ins(basic), gas, electric, bottom of the barrel basic cable(just to get reception), food I budget and use coupons, and telephone. We hardly ever go out, never vacation, buy clothes on sale/off season and at thrift stores. I have always been frugal and budget smart. Taking every penny isn't my goal but just trying to get the very basics and his 50% of things is going to break him. I'm looking for work but will definately be having a hard time finding a decent paying job with no education or job history. I'm not trying to strangle him but just getting what I'm entitled to, just the basics, nothing more is going to break him and that is my concern.
Re: All his money WhiskeyGirl: I understand how hard it is to make ends meet, trust me....but the fact is your ex has to able to make ends meet as well. Thats just the way it is....when we have kids with someone we cant just break up and say oh well, I need what I need and to hell with you.
It sounds like you may have to take a not so great job in the meantime, until you find something else. Mabey you could mave out of the city a bit.
Paying lawyers on both sides can't be helping matters...its a complete waste especially when you are trying to get blood from a stone. My guess is at the end of the day..you could have payed for those braces three times over with what you spend on lawyers bills.
I truely am sorry, we all know how tough it is trying to make it alone...but you have to be realistic and figure something out that works for both of you....like it or not you will be co-parents to these kids for a long while yet.
Re: All his money in_search_of: All I can say WG is AMEN!
When you procreate with someone, you make a commitment for the rest of your life. Bigger than the commitment when you stand at the altar and say I do. Because well, divorce can get you out of the I do, but you have to co parent for the rest of your life! You will both want to be at the wedding of these children, standing at their bedside when grandchildren are born etc. Believe me, in the end, making concessions now, and finding a way for you BOTH to make ends meet will be in everyone's best interest.
And while I think that it is probably best for both of you to have an atty, and that means paying both. I think that there is a likelihood, seeing the posturing that is going on between the factions already that with the lawyers that you have you are looking at a protracted and nasty legal battle. And as WG said that is not a good way to spend the money. I would recommend finding attys that are interested in your best interest in the long run. The fact that neither of you can afford the protracted court battle, the fact that you do have to BOTH make ends meet, and the fact that you have to co parent for many many years to come.
Divorce is hard in many ways. finacially, emotionally, and physically. Sometimes the people that are supposed to be making it work out easier do exactly the opposite.
Re: All his money charmed: [quote"> Also if I can find out through an investigator that he is in fact living with a female and she in fact helped ruin the marriage can people still sue the other party involved?[/quote">
In some states, yes - for "alienation of affection", but this law has been discarded in many states. This can become time-consuming and costly. Most courts like to deal with the property settlement, custody issues and most lawyers will suggest steering clear of anything outside of this (at least in my area).
[quote"> Can the courts take every penny someone makes? [/quote">
I've never known a court to do that. It's only reasonable that both parties need money to live on.
Both parties are supposed to give full disclosure on income, assets, etc. If anything is hidden they can be held in contempt of court. Your husband will have to disclose everything to the courts, as well as you.
I'll admit that my eyes bugged out at what you may be getting LOL
`charmed
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