Re:Descent barelybreathing: Have you ever thought that the alcohol is preventing you from healing properly?
It's a downer. Hence why you are down so much of the time and why you seem to be caught in this vicious cycle.
Time to dry out there bitpusher and face your demons head on. You can do it.
Stop thinking your way out and ACT your way out.
BB
Re:Descent bit pusher: [quote author=barelybreathing link=board=20;threadid=2053;start=0#msg17909 date=1075994487">
Have you ever thought that the alcohol is preventing you from healing properly?
It's a downer. Hence why you are down so much of the time and why you seem to be caught in this vicious cycle.
Time to dry out there bitpusher and face your demons head on. You can do it.
Stop thinking your way out and ACT your way out.
BB
[/quote">
Heh, I dried out for four days. The anxiety attacks were worse. I'll clear off of it here at some point, I'm sure, but I'm going to wait until I can get some help before I turn off my one remaining painkiller again ... it's all part of my cycle. This is just a heavier version of what I went through after the Ex left, and I'm in a place where I can vent it instead of bottling it up ... (har har)
As to acting my way out ... this is the whole purpose of finding professional help. I don't know how. I will learn. I am not equipped to let things go ... which needs to change badly.
Less than a week, then off this rock for a bit ... things will turn around.
Re:Descent wolly1234: You should have been a writer.
Karoake should be outlawed. No doubt about it. People who shouldn't drink mixed with people who shouldn't sing, all to often in the same fat body. Even 90db earplugs don't help. Been there, done that. Staring at the shotgun, weighing out the ramifacations. Would a jury blame me? I could submit tapes as evidence. They would call it a mercy killing.
I have the same problem, letting things go. song lyrics:
and if you can't already tell,
I am unable to let things go.
I'm told I do it very well,
But more important you should know,
That all the same, you have no one to blame but yourself
if you call that a waste.
Someday, with the right person it'll be an asset. But not right now. Gotta find the that da@!ed switch. Turn it off for a while.
Been knocking back a few brewski's myself. Everyone says It's only a temporary fix. Well guess what? That's good enough for now. Glad I'm not in paradise right now, though. That cheap rum would put me under.
I need a little(IE-a lot) of couseling, myself. I consider myself to be fairly intelligent, like you, but seems I was never taught these particular life skills. Actually I was taught if was all a bunch of hocus pocus. Pychology degrees and charmin tp. Same category. But now I'm not so sure. Better be one heluva lot better than my marriage counselor was, huh? Good thing I'm as far removed from the world as you are because I have a few choice words for her.
Seriously,, on my side, I know deep down the booze isn't helping me. Probally won't make me stop, but there it is. I'm not a hypocrite.
Maybe I need a vacation. Get drunk, Sing and be merry.
Just kidding.
Hang in there. Getting better at rambling, aren't I?
Re:Descent bit pusher: [quote author=wolly1234 link=board=20;threadid=2053;start=0#msg17918 date=1075998234">
Hang in there. Getting better at rambling, aren't I?
[/quote">
"We must all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately."
- Ben Franklin
Yeah, your rambles are hitting the right notes ... I seem to understand where you're coming from ... we seem to be in similar places with regards to turning life inside out and examining it.
I too have traditionally had issues with head shrinkers, but I'm at a point where I realize I need tools ... tools that I can't give myself necessarily ... in order to grind through some of these problems.
You hang in there too man ... I'm sure it gets better, eventually.
And if you decide to do the vacation thing, let me offer you hotel suggestions that ARE NOT RIGHT NEXT TO MY FREAKING APARTMENT!!! Then, you can sing to your heart's content ;)
Re:Descent Spectrum: [quote author=bit pusher link=board=20;threadid=2053;start=0#msg17919 date=1075998906">
And if you decide to do the vacation thing, let me offer you hotel suggestions that ARE NOT RIGHT NEXT TO MY FREAKING APARTMENT!!! Then, you can sing to your heart's content ;)
[/quote">
Oh come on, BP. You mean to tell me you don't just LOVE having your very own American Idol audition next door 24-7?? What kind of American are you?? ;)
Have you tried putting on some noise-cancelling headphones? With some music of your preference?
*sigh*
When you guys figure out all the answers, pass them on to me, will ya? I have a feeling this is where I'll be heading when my papers are finalized and I finally get around to putting an end to the denial-esque "STBX sex" (I've managed to abstain for about a week, but Valentine's day is coming up....).
BP, I'm glad you will have the opportunity to get off the island and get some help. And if nothing else, you should be able to get some karaoke-free sleep, right?
Spectrum.
ps. Have you considered switching apartments???
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