I'm back to sad and downtrodden... Justgothen: I am tired of trying to be "right". I am tired of this ridiculous pride. I miss him. I don't see him coming through my door at 6pm anymore. I don't see him eating a dinner I prepared for us (I no longer even bother to cook for myself). I am lonely and sad. It is raining. I hate the rain (I live in San Diego and rain is rare and depressing for me.) I remember liking it when he was here to snuggle with. I have lost him forever. I need to face the truth. I need to stop trying to be so god-d***** right all the time. I am not brave. I am not courageous. I pushed him out without trying to work with him. I cannot change it. I cannot take it back. I hate the bleak and dismal rain. I hate this bleak and dismal life.
Re: I'm back to sad and downtrodden... lostboy: Wow..I know EXACTLY..how your feeling. in fact in regards to the rain and the lonliness and the lack of someone to snuggle I posted something very much in line with this...God I was feeling so much of the same to day. And now.. I hate the grey sky and what it does to my psyche. Yes it's depressing. I Have been doing well havn't talked to her just stayed away I miss her so very much. But I can't allow my self communication I know how it will undo everything..
We (you and I) are both brave and we are both curageous it's just hard to put in perspective right now. I know I feel I pushed my ex away..I sat today thinking of all the things I could have done that hinged upon her making the decision to leave. But in the end it was her choice. I have to accept that. Yes.. JGT..we hate the rain..but perhaps it's one redeaming quality is that it masks our tears...
Keep Well,
lostboy
Re: I'm back to sad and downtrodden... twobeautifulkids: I can totally relate. I have days like that. They are fewer and farther between now, but they still come. (((HUGS)))
