Just got off the phone with the in-laws shockedandamazed: I just got off the phone with his dad and we talked at length of how my husband had just up and left me and was cheating on me.
His father is acting like he still thinks his son will come around. He said that right now he has his head so far up his ass he can't even think straight. My husband had told his mother how the romantic love was gone from our marriage. He is totally trying to sidestep the fact that he had comitted adultery in our marriage and his parents are totally buying into it.
Another thing his dad said to me was, 'We wished you would have just refused to sign the divorce paperwork because things have a way of working themselves out'. His mom told my husband that whatever he decided was fine with her...are they totally dense?? I am expected to just sit around while my husband goes off and f**'s another woman? Just wait for him to get his head out of his ass?
Do you think I am being too hard-headed in this situation? I'm sorry, but being unfaithful is a deal breaker in my book. His father went on to say that he (husband) had made a commitment with God when he said his vows to me, and his commitment was not to me...that he needed to realize his commitment with God and come back to me...
WTF?? Like I would even consider taking his ass back after the way he treated me...I know it takes a big person to take someone back after they had cheated, but I know I couldn't ever get past this..maybe that makes me a small person.
Re: Just got off the phone with the in-laws BONILLAK: No you are not a small person at all. My husband still refuses to admit he left and is living with another woman but I know in my heart he is. If I call him at work and ask him to babysit which i asked today for tomorrow as i need to go at 6pm tomorrow for oral surgery and just need him for an hour or so...his answer was he needs to check and see if he can and will let me know by 5pm tomorrow@@ The denies another woman but knowing my husband for 19yrs total I know he would never leave without having another woman. I also could never take him back. If he was homeless I would allow him here sleeping on the couch as he is the kids father but he and I are over. It did me good to not see him at all for 1 month because when i did I had no feelings at all for him. So I know if I ever allowed him back here it would be for stupid reasons and not because I want him. Adultery is something I can not forgive. I took my vows seriously and planned to stand by them even if not really happy as I made a promise in the eyes of God. He always felt this way too until the past few months. I guess the devil got to him and won.
Re: Just got off the phone with the in-laws Lumpy: [quote author=shockedandamazed link=topic=20543.msg190263#msg190263 date=1129691461">
Do you think I am being too hard-headed in this situation? I'm sorry, but being unfaithful is a deal breaker in my book. His father went on to say that he (husband) had made a commitment with God when he said his vows to me, and his commitment was not to me...that he needed to realize his commitment with God and come back to me...
[/quote">
I don't think you're being hard-headed at all. You may be a little unrealistic regarding the way his parents are reacting to this whole mess. We always want to believe the best about our kids. They will back him regardless of the facts. Your F-I-L's comment about God struck me as funny. I wonder how God feels about your husband cheating on HIM!
Re: Just got off the phone with the in-laws flyaway: [quote author=Lumpy link=topic=20543.msg190286#msg190286 date=1129695923">
We always want to believe the best about our kids. They will back him regardless of the facts.[/quote">
Unfortunately, S&A, this is too true. I myself have experienced the power of "golden boy". You see, my ex husband was always the best thing since sliced bread was invented in their eyes, and no matter what the actual facts were, my stbx could always talk his way out of it with them.
I had to come to the point of not expecting anything but tolken support from these people that were like second parents to me for more than 10 years. In the end blood is thicker than water, and that is cool. I have the support of my family. And that is enough for now.
I hope that things get easier for you, and stay the course, girl! You are going to be better for it! Just wait and see :) !
Flyaway
Re: Just got off the phone with the in-laws twobeautifulkids: You can't sit around and wait to see if your ex comes around. He cheated. He violated your vows. Even God allows for divorce in circumstances like yours. I don't blame you for signing paperwork. You have to do what is right for you. ((HUGS))
Take care.
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