In law question Erin: Any contact with the inlaws?
I am kind of surprised that I haven't heard anything from them. This has been a lot of crap going on in the past while and would think that they would have some compassion for the situation.
I understand that he is their son, and they want to support him...but when their DIL has a freaking miscarriage....nothing?
I emailed them early Sept, when my H passed on b-day wishes from them, and told them if they had anything they wanted to say to me to please tell it to me and not pass it on through him. Nothing.
Could they really believe everything that he is telling them? We had a good relationship. It just really hurts to think that anyone could believe him in thinking that I lied about the pregnancy/miscarriage, the garage being broken into and now his car problems.
For some reason I feel like contacting them lately.
Any advice?
Re: In law question Suddenly Single: You are still married? Are you divorcing?
My in laws had NO contact with me from the day I told them what he did. They never sent a card, email or anything.
If you are getting divorced and there are no kids......you don't need contacct with them. I think there silence is telling you enough. People are jerks.
I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. How awful to go through. :'(
HUGS SS
Re: In law question Trillian: My in-laws from my first marriage have contact with me, mainly because I have 2 kids by their son and if they didn't contact me, they wouldn't see my kidlets. I find that with this family it is not to hard to do it. I love his family like they are my own. I have known them for well over 15 years now, so it would be hard to not love em. In fact, when I got married a second time about a year into the marriage the 2nd ex asked me to not talk to any of his (the 1st exs) family any more, I could totally not do that. I tried for a couple of months but it was too hard on my girls and on me. ???
However, I have NO contact from my 2nd exs family. I decided that one. They all wanted to be friends with me and my family, BUT it hurt to much to even think about it. So after one of the last fights that he and I had, I asked them to not contact me.
There are some times while I am driving past where they live that I wish I could call them and tell them something. Or like when my kids ask about his Nieces or Nephews that I wish I could call em. BUT it is better for him and I if there is no contact period!
Anyhow...that is my feelings on it. LOL!!
Re: In law question Dharma Bum: Here's my 2 cents on the whole thing: people just don't know how to act in such a situation. Blood is thicker than water, so regardless of the situation, they are going to have primary allegiance to their own kid. I think it's wrong to assume the worst. More likely they want to contact you in some way, but just don't know how without angering their son, feeling like they may be betraying him a bit, and maybe setting a bad precedence by talking with you. I have had zero contact with anyone in my wife's family since she told me she wanted a divorce in May. And I have a good 12 year long relationship with them. It's hard not to take it personally, but it's a tough situation for them, too. It'd be nice if they'd say something, but I wouldn't assume that they hate you or don't care just because they haven't, if that makes sense.
Re: In law question shockedandamazed: Spinning - I agree with Dharma Bum. In my case, my husband just cut off all communication with his family and friends. Two weeks went by from when he first told me he wanted a divorce and then left, no word for two weeks from him. I finally decided to call his parents and they had no clue of what was going on. They were so embarassed to find out he was cheating, his mom kept saying what a bad mother she must have been since he cheated and that she had thought she had raised him better. They didn't call for three weeks once he had his cell phone turned back on and then they called last night.
They only talked to him one time throughout all of this. In the conversation last night, his dad told me that he wished I had refused to sign the divorce paperwork because things have a way of working themselves out...wished I never would have talked to them now.
Don't take it personally, it would have been nice for them to call once they heard about the miscarriage, but in their defense, maybe he never told them? Think about it this way, do you want anything that is said during that conversation to be relayed to him in any form?
