Re:advice needed notbychoice: Thanks all for the advice......and the questions posted that I need to ask myself. Things like that help me to sort through this mess believe it or not. This is so hard. Its scary to say but I think that a person can get hurt too badly and its not repairable. Whats ironic is 4 months ago if he would have called and said this I would have been packing my crap up and moving back home before the conversation was even over. I would have never thought I would be having a hard time making the decison to go back to my marriage. I guess time really is a miracle worker....but did time do me any favors here or just allow me to dwell on the hurt too long?
Buggs....you indicated it sounds like I am not prepared to invest the emotional energy....do you mean on my marriage or moving on and forward in my new life?
Re:advice needed Buggs: NBC...I meant on returning back to your ex. If you're prepared to do it, chances are you wouldn't have even posted your post, or sought any advice ( why?) because its your gut, heart, talking. The fact that yo're hesitant is because you've been hurt, now healed somewhat and fear having to go through that all oer again in 1 month, 1 yr 5y whatever......
Again, I can tell you what to decide, and I don't mean to be too harsh and minimalize what you're going through, but sometimes the person who's completely outside of the situation see's it clearer than the ones in it....theres no emotional attachement unlike you.
follow your heart, make yourself happy in whatever decision you take.
Re:advice needed notbychoice: oh no your not harsh at all. I like to hear from an outsider who has not care either way. It helps me see through the fog I have. For whatever reason though I have a hard tiem understanding your posts. Maybe I am reading into them too much or something. :P
I just want to make 100% that I am understanding what you are saying to me correctly.
I did re read my initial post and it does in fact sound as if I have made my mind up doesnt it. I guess I just think if he thought it so easy to leave and come back what makes me think he wont just do it again and again to me and I cant go through that hurt again. It nearly destroyed me. I could barely get up and go to work everyday. I just wanted to sleep and cry through life for MANY months after the seperation and divorce. Nothing helped the pain. Nothing. I cant do that hurt again.
Re:advice needed Buggs: Sometimes it seems like when I write I am the fog. :-\....we're are dealing with something and its funny how we able to give out advice to others so easily while at the same time we struggle with our own issues. Its back to that emotional attachement I guess ???
Cheers
Re:advice needed andyman8007: i guess that is why they call it a leap of faith?? do you take a chance that it could all happen again (the hurt) or do go through life wondering what if?? i guess you must first find some kind of peace within yourself. then atleast what ever descion you come to it will be your own.
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