Question for ojar ih8BeinAlone: Hey folks,
Well it's been about 3 months since we called it quits. It's been about 3 weeks without any contact from the ex. This is good because I was the one that insisted on the no-contact thing. I've felt a lot better since I haven't been talking to her. The first 2 weeks felt great. This week I've been thinking a lot of her. Which is weird I guess since you'd think that if time truely does heal it'd be a continuous process and not random.
Anyways, my question is this. I'm not depressed anymore. I can rationalize why we broke up etc... But I seem to have lost all my ambition. Before the breakup I was really active doing things. Working on starting my own business, just getting out and doing things. I went through this terrible depression phase where I just wanted to die (even tho I'm the one who initiated the breakup). That soon phased out after we stopped talking. Have any of you went through this before? If so, what did it take to get your ambition in life back?
Re: Question for ojar Trillian: Good morning! It is GREAT that you are able to stick to the whole no contact thing!
Anyway, I find that I still have those days/weeks that I think a lot about the ex.
And the answer that I have for the ambition thing is the following...I went through a few of those phases. I went through it for a week or so right after I kicked him out. I kind of (not completely) came out of it only after a week, because I could see that it was totally hurting my kids. I fell right back into it when they went to their grandmothers for the summer, and then again when they went to live with their father. I found that the one thing that brought me completely out of it was my friends. They saw what I was doing to myself, my life, work, kids. And they started FORCING me to go places with them. It finally got to a point that I wouldn't answer my phones or doors cause I was sick of always going out. But that only last a few days, mainly cause I got bored. LOL!! BUT had they not been there, I probably would still be in a stage. :) Dunno how much help that was.
Good Luck
Re: Question for ojar ih8BeinAlone: Trillian, thanks for the post yes it was helpful. Anyone else have any input?
Re: Question for ojar Trillian: I am glad that it was. ;D I asked one of my friends at work what it took for them, here is the answer...
"It took a lot of patience, time, and work to want to start to go out and do things again. My friends and family couldn't break through to me..I had to look really deep inside for this answer. Soon after that, I was able to figure out what I needed to do to actually want to get up in the morning, to shower, to go to work and to go out after and have fun. It will be different for every person....so hang in there!"
We are all here for you....Posting on ojar also helped me after I had found it. :)
Re: Question for ojar lilly10: Hi
I'm not sure I have all my ambition back yet but some of it is back. Ambition comes from with in so you have to get back on track and figure out what you want. What I do is think about how happy I will be again and how great my future will be. Now this works most of the time for me but sometimes I to find myself down in the dumps when this happens I remind myself that this to shall pass. Also just get back out there and do the things you were doing make yourself do it. It will come back you will see!
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