ex-wife/liar and me dirk: Got married at 22 divorced at 26. I truly loved my wife. Loved all the little things about her. She made my heart flutter and couldn't believe that I had found the one. No woman compared to her in my eyes. Beautiful woman, too bad she knew it too.
She came from a strict southern baptist background and was a "strong" christian in my opinion. Nice family, but a little judgemental of "non" christians. Holier than thou if you will but toned down. Luckily, I am a christian so I was in the clear. I didn't care about any of that though because I loved her, and I was happy at least she shared a lot of the same spiritual beliefs I did. One major belief I thought we shared was that divorce was not an option. In fact we talked about it many times.
I was not a perfect husband. I made some bad decisions about my first job out of college. Woke up everyday and hated it, and knew I had more to offer. Realized I wanted to be a dentist and needed to go to more school with the promise of a brighter future. That made our road tougher. BUT, she supported me. She supported me financially as well as emotionally during trying times. I was a new husband and needed to make a major life change that would affect us positively in the future. During these years, life was tough, but I woke up everyday glad I made the decision and glad I was going to be able to take care of my wife and future kids in a better way one day. I know now that I was making wise decisions and her selfishness has led to our marriage's dissolution.
I remember her waking me in the morning by kissing me on my eyelids sometimes. (That memory really troubles me). She would tell me she loved me. I remember our romantic nights and looking each other in the eyes and thanking God we found each other. I remember praying together at night. I remember hiking secluded trails in Hawaii and checking out wineries in CA. I remember finding our dog together and nursing her back to health.
I also remember that nothing I did was usually good enough for her. I also remember her business trips when she wouldn't call me until the next day late at night. I also remember when she started wearing larger padded bras and tighter clothing. I also remember when sex with me was a worst case scenario for her. And I also remember thinking she should become a lawyer because our arguements always ended with a win in her corner. (Men can't get around a woman's tears).
And finally after I entered into dental school, she decided she actually did not really love me. And oh yeah, "I don't know if I ever really loved you and I'm moving to NY without you, sorry" she said. And oh yeah, "I met someone on NASTYCHAT online and went to his house but I didn't cheat on you, I swear" she said. Oh really. Are you sure, because cheating doesn't just mean sex bitch. My ex-wfie was a liar and a cheater and has thrown away something so special to me. I told her over and over that I would do anything to make her happy and to make it work but that did not work. She must have forgotten about how divorce was not an option. She must have forgot I wasn't just going back to school for me. She apparently was not actively cheating on me anymore but the guilt was killing her and I just didn't do it for her anymore.
OR maybe she is a liar at heart because I don't work the way she apparently does. That christian background really came in handy there in the clutch didin't it.
I will reap the benefits of my hard earned DDS, and I will make a excellent provider for my future wife. Too bad my ex was such a shortsighted, heartless, selfish, narcissistic liar. Too bad she can't be here to share in the joy of a job well done. God, I hate her and love her. Guess I'm going to have to keep on truckin'.
How do you stop loving the person you feel you are meant to be with?
-D
Re: ex-wife/liar and me Older Guy: dirk - all i can say is keep on trucking buddy...you'll be oaky in time.
OG
Re: ex-wife/liar and me sheydp: Oh ouch. I am so sorry, sweetie.. To lose your chance, right as you are reaching the easier side of things... Time will heal, more than you know. It is ok to be angry for awhile, and sad, and anything else that comes up naturally in the course of grieving. So sorry.
Shey
Re: ex-wife/liar and me lilly10: Dirk,
I also feel that my ex and I were meant for one another.On the other hand the person I am meant to be with will never hurt me like this. I dont know that we will ever stop loving them. This is so hard but yes we will just have to keep on truckin!
Re: ex-wife/liar and me jadedangel: [quote author=dirk link=topic=20584.msg190669#msg190669 date=1129754274">
How do you stop loving the person you feel you are meant to be with?
-D
[/quote">
[color=navy"> I had the same thought today ---- I lost the love of my life because I was selfish. I bet I told myself that 10 times after I "figured it out" .... as if I haven't told myself before. I went back to school instead of chose him -- well shouldn't he of been more understanding -- it would of benefit him as well as myself. When you figure that out --- patent it ... but give it to me for free.[/color">
[quote author=dirk link=topic=20584.msg190669#msg190669 date=1129754274">
I was not a perfect husband. I made some bad decisions about my first job out of college. Woke up everyday and hated it, and knew I had more to offer. Realized I wanted to be a dentist and needed to go to more school with the promise of a brighter future. That made our road tougher. BUT, she supported me. She supported me financially as well as emotionally during trying times.
[/quote">
[color=navy"> I could of written alot of that by word -- discard the dentist and replace it with anesthetist ...... and of course I have never even tried to be a husband ------- but seriously ... what is this perfect mate people all think the other person should be? To me ... I thought going for more ..and securing a future was along the "perfect" lines ... but I as well .. was wrong.
"Keep on truckin" ..... Hang in there ... whatever works --- one day you will find the benefit of your work --- and someone to share it with (or at least that is what everyone keeps telling me!) ;)[/color">
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