Re: ex-wife/liar and me Discarded: Dirk,
You will be better than O.K. in time.
From what you have written, you have made some very good choices throughout the marriage. You have sacrificed some things for a better future - never a bad thing as long as it is in perspective which going to school for a better job is well within perspective. You wife is short sighted and selfish, no other way to put it. I hate to tell you this as it is going to hurt, but you need to realize it. She probably has been cheating for awhile, or at least entertained it for quite awhile. It is the spouse that sees these things last. We trust our spouse, we give them the benefit of the doubt, and many times we don't even question the answer that they give us to some of the most basic questions.
I say this because of this paragraph:
[color=red"> I also remember that nothing I did was usually good enough for her. I also remember her business trips when she wouldn't call me until the next day late at night. I also remember when she started wearing larger padded bras and tighter clothing. I also remember when sex with me was a worst case scenario for her. And I also remember thinking she should become a lawyer because our arguements always ended with a win in her corner. (Men can't get around a woman's tears).[/color">
I know there isn't alot of information in this paragraph to justify what I wrote, but I can also see between the lines of what is not written or at least I'm pretty sure I can.
[color=red"> And finally after I entered into dental school, she decided she actually did not really love me. And oh yeah, "I don't know if I ever really loved you and I'm moving to NY without you, sorry" she said. And oh yeah, "I met someone on NASTYCHAT online and went to his house but I didn't cheat on you, I swear" she said.[/color">
She is making decisions here. I recommend that you don't let her rule what is going on here and definately protect yourself. My X got pretty nasty when she was thinking that she was going to up and move out of state with the children to be with her other men she was meeting on chat lines. She planned on many things, I was very lucky and found all the proof of what she was up to and was really shocked at how much she planned on destroying my life. I am not talking about simple divorce and leave, but actually planning on destruction of my life. Divorce and leaving was at the end of the list of things she wanted to do. I just wanted to give you a heads up on this, as it was the last thing I expected. Protect yourself and get a consultation with a lawyer, a lawyer will give you advice of what your choices and options are. At least you will have an idea of what may be coming and what to expect. Watch your finances and credit or better yet close them and open single accounts. Get a Credit History Report and check it out. You may feel that she won't do these things to you, but it is better to be safe than sorry.
I know you love her, I know you feel you are meant to be with her. Right now she is not the person you married and fell in love with. She is not thinking about your feelings, your emotions, your love, or care about those things. We fall in love and marry one person, we divorce a totally different person.
Discarded
Re: ex-wife/liar and me dirk8: dirk, sorry to hear such a sad story. i dont know what to tell you bro. just hang in there and dont let her take you apart. and dont hate on Christianity just because of her. consider her a challenge God has put in your life, if you survive it, you will be a stronger person in the end.
Re: ex-wife/liar and me Confused_puppy: Dirk
Sorry to hear your story .... betrayal always hurts ... particularly when it's by the one you love and who's meant to love you.
After three years of being told I was my ex-wifes soulmate ... the love of her life ... no regrets etc etc ... I now get told that there's no such thing as true love - it's merely a combination of (and I quote) "inclination and opportunity" ...
Well - I guess that's one way to look at it !!!
At least it enabled me to see what she really thought about me ... and to be able to say this back to her every time she tells me she's made a mistake and still loves me ...
Stick with it and make your own choices ... no-one deserves to be treated this way (even though at some point, almost all of us are!) ...
Good luck
