Here's my tale korbie: So I was married for less than a year when my husband decided that he wanted to separated, then no he wanted us to stay together, then he wanted an annulment and at last it would be best to divorce and then date each other. Even though this seemed rediculous and I let him know that it was not an option we went through the process. I then moved away- out of state. The court date was set and then 2 months before the court date he contacts me and tells me he's changed his mind and that he wants me back. Now in this time we have done nothing to address the issues that lead us to where we were but he wanted me to move back to him(he had also moved out of state). Anyway, we talk but I'm torn... there are moments when all I want is to be back in his arms then I think of what happened and I know that I don't trust him. Well 4 days before the court date-it was an uncontested divorce- he pulls out. Now I moved to a state where I have to be a resident for a year before I can even file for a legal separation so I'm stuck because he's changed his mind. Well we moved past that and that was 2 months ago. I figured that maybe this was a sign that we were ment to work through this and be stronger for it but then he pulls some major shit. I was to go and see him-which was a weakness on my part because I had told him that I would not come to him, he had to come to me since he's the one that wants me back. Now I ask is it to much to ask that he show that he wants me back instead of just saying it. Words only go so far...but anyway I broke down and was going to see him until my mom asked me why I was going. I couldn't answer that question and that bothered me so I told him that I needed more time. Well that didn't go over well. He was so mad at me, he accussed me of playing with his emotions. We got into a big fight that had nothing really to do with the real issues and I yelled at him. After I calmed down I IMed him to apologize for my behavior. He then informed me that he had gone out with another girl who is a "friend" and that he stayed at her place till 5am. Now if you are trying to win your spouse back I don't think that is something you would do or inform them of. So since that I have not talked to him. We went a week without contact and now for the past 3 days he's been e-mailing me and calling my cell... he's sorry for how he's hurt me, he wants me back,blah, blah, blah. I can't believe that he really thinks that he's getting me back after that. I always told him that if he didn't want me to just tell me and not to go behind my back with another female. After he did that he should know that we are done. I just wish that he would get it and stop calling. I just can't wait till I can file and move in with my life. Man it sucks to be 23 and going through all this shit. Oh well I guess this is life.
Re: Here's my tale Dire Wolf: Get away from this man any way that you can. He obvoiusly just wants you to be there when it's convenient for him and will play these head games with you for as long as you will allow him to do so. You are better and deserve better than that. You deserve a man that doesn't have to question his love every other day. If he doesn't know in his heart at this moment that it has to be you and only you then you can do better.
This will never end as long as you are with him. He has showed you who he really is and I strongly suggest that you let him go and find the man you are really supposed to be with. He is not worthy.
This is just my opinion sweetie as an outsider going from your perspective alone so take that for what its worth. But I do see this as a continuous cycle that will probably never end. You can do better.
DW
Re: Here's my tale korbie: Dire Wolf
Thanks for that. I've heard it from my family but it's nice to have it confirmed by someone removed from the situation.
Re: Here's my tale Dharma Bum: Better to learn about it after only a year together than longer. I say cut and run. There are lots of guys out there who would love to be in a relationship with you, so drop this dead weight and don't look back. Life is WAY tooo short for this type of headgame/manipulation action.
