Re: online affair Chris101: I agree with Discarded, sometimes there is only one way to get answers, it isn't something to feel good about. I know with me I knew something was wrong but I was made to feel stupid for even thinking it when I brought it up. My suspicions where exactly what I suspected and even worse actually.
I don't agree with just letting this go, this can be a very big threat to your relationship. To become emotionally involved with someone either in person or online is serious. I read that if your spouse is doing things that she wouldn't do right in front of you then its considered cheating, simple as that.
Re: online affair timetobefree: Others have given you lots of other good advice.
My only other piece to add is CYA. Cover your a$$. It sounds sick and twisted, but I would copy or print out anything you find so that you have evidence should you need it. As soon as you call her on it, she is probably going to erase everything and deny it. Legally, it might not do anything for you. But mentally and emotionally, she may try to twist it all around on you and try to deny it ever existed. Hard proof will keep you sane.
Sorry this is happening to you.
Amy
Re: online affair flyaway: The way I found out was that he left his "journal" open on the kitchen table. I know it looks like i was spying, but I think that he wanted me to find it so that there would come a confrontation, and he could leave.
Talk to her. Tell her what you have found.......then try, if she is willing, to find the best family and marriage counsellor you can. Divorce is ugly, painful. If you can avoid it. Do.
But my suggestion would be to wait a bit, let your emotions cool off, if possible. Then talk as calmly and clinically as you can.......that will throw her off her game.....(she sounds a little emotional)
I'm so sorry you find yourself here this week! big hugs to you, man!
Flyaway
Re: online affair judy: Online affairs are growing, and do destroy marriages. You need to confront her and see where she stands. Her reactions (verbal and non-verbal) will tell.
My husband started with online affairs - when I found out, he had had two, and the third one was the one he took to the next step and met. They are now a couple and I'm in the process of loosing my house.
DO NOT LET THIS GO
Judy
Re: online affair seyfert: Yes, there is a problem in your marriage. The first thing you both need to do is to decide if you want to stay married. If you both want it to work, you really need to work on it. Books, counseling, friends support, whatever it takes, but it will be work.
BTW-how do you check an IM log?
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