Re:Those Pictures... Spectrum: [quote author=Fresca link=board=25;threadid=2079;start=0#msg18233 date=1076522347">
Spectrum -
I blindly trusted my ex, so it never occured to me that I should look beyond his cover stories. That is one thing that my ex took from me that I can never get back - the ability to blindly trust the one I love. Unfortunately, I'm now a 'trust, but verify' person, and it's not something I'm happy about, either. I long for the part of my that was blissfully, naively, and naturally trusting. It's gone, never to return.
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Isn't that the worst part? I was thinking just about this exact thing this morning. I was SO trusting- stupidly trusting, even. On a certain level I knew he was a dishonest person, but I thought it was just superficial dishonesty, like stealing stories from buddies and making them his own. Regarding our marriage, and my best interests, I trusted him without reservation. Now, I too find myself in a strange place- I WANT to trust and believe without reservation, but I simply can't. I HATE that feeling! I'm never going to be the same completely trusting/happy-go-lucky girl again. And I know I'm going to hate him for that some day.
Why can't people understand that they are destroying a part of a person when they cheat on them?
I was on Loveshack.org the other day, checking out the OW/OM forum. There was some dumb woman on there asking why she shouldn't start an affair with a married man who was flirting with her. She actually declared that "Some articles say affairs are even healthy." If I could have reached through the computer and b*tch-slapped her, I would have!
I've been reading that forum for a couple weeks, as I found out my STBX's OW was posting on there the last couple months.
The overwhelming theme that these OW/OM display is "ME, ME, ME" and "I don't care what kind of good advice you have for me, I want what I want (my married man/woman)."
It just drove home the unbelievable selfishness that occurs on BOTH sides of a cheating relationship (the cheater and the OW/OM). I hope those people are judged VERY harshly before God.
Okay, deep breath......
Spectrum.
Re:Those Pictures... barelybreathing: I can't believe there is actually a forum for the adulterors to express themselves on.
God. Have they no shame?
There are two kinds of people in this world, the people who "get it" and the people who "don't".
BB
Re:Those Pictures... brynne: Oh Spectrum, you cannot beat yourself up for not seeing the signs...I didn't either !
It should have been a red flag that my X didn't get along w/ his mother...in fact he hates her. I just belived him, but eventually I realized he uses the poor relationship w/ his mom as an excuse for everything that goes wrong in his life. It's disgusting that a grown man 30 yrs old still cannot accept resonsiblity for his actions.
And the dishonestly thing...your right, signs were there...like my X was always looking to get something for free...he had an illegal cable box. And I will never forget he made a crack to my sister & her husband one night at dinner about paying for our meal they were both attorney's & had plenty of money - I wanted to crawl under the table !!
We cannot blame ourselves, we were in love & love can make you blind. I think every victim of cheating goes back over every senario & examines it for clues that they should have picked up on, it's only normal.
I hope I do not go into my next relationship skeptical & untrusting. I can only hope I am able to work out those issues b/f a nice man comes along.
Hope
Re:Those Pictures... newandconfused: I think your letter was the most amazing letter I have ever read--and I look forward to the day when I can take out my own pictures without wanting to run back...or scream.
Re:Those Pictures... Chey: I just finished reading this letter (I was going through all the unsent letters starting at the back and moving forward....) and this one is incredibly powerful.
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