Hopeless incoherentlonghorn: I’m sorry that all my postings involve horrible things no one likes to hear, but I need help, something, release, peace….hope. VENT, VENT, VENT, VENT...
??? :-[ :-X :-\ :'( :o >:( :( ??? :-[ :-X :'( :'( :'(
I got tired of seeing happy longhorn since these last two weeks were horrendous, but plain old longhorn is taken and I’m trying not to be too downbeat.
My father whom I’m living with refuses to stop financially supporting my husband who is living in the house he can’t afford by himself. But we need to make sure for our sons sake that the spouse stays “on his feet” since our son is the one ultimately hurt. True but if after seven years of refusal to follow a budget combined with the fact that I paid every bill the entire marriage, we can’t support the rest of his life. According to dad, yes we can, even if that financially hurts us. Clearly we should downsize, so the S2BX can live comfortably. I had to teach the SBX how to pay the house payment in January. Log in, hit pay…you must be kidding!!! I sent over money for food, that I can handle, but paying his bills and for part of a house I can’t live in!!?!?!?
My father believes my husband should have joint custody and we should make his life as cushy as possible—his life will be easier thus preventing his outbursts. We need to let him have what he wants to keep him calm. No comment!!??!!?!?!? If anyone would also like in on this deal, clearly he is capable of controlling the universe at all times?!?!? And you wonder why I put up with the S2BX for so long…it is now becoming clear!!!
My attorney wants me to approach my S2BX and try to get him to agree to sole supervised custody. *You may not know my husband personally, but I might as well make reservations at the hospital.* That will do it. And my attorney is free of charge through a state fund involving domestic abuse violence, which is why she wants me to do it (less time, less money, less sweat off her back—No offense Michael). Is it me or is that counter-effective—lets help end abuse by putting people in hostile situations? And if I move without court approval for my dream job, I’m breaking the three county rule, which is illegal. I sincerely value her advice—don’t get me wrong.
I am one of the luckiest people in that I have no income since I’ve been attending school, so I qualify for all kinds of assistance. Free attorney. Free therapy through school, with several of the best therapists in town up to three times a week-kid, couple, personal. Very lucky in that aspect, but I also feel I’ve been screwed over in marriage. Hey I even have a killer dream job lined up that I may have to renege on, but if it for my son, so be it.
MY FATHER IS RELENTLESS and WONT listen. What do I do? He is taking care of the whole family at this point. I’ve expressed my concern and he calls me with viable solutions that support joint custody…….. and “let me tell you if the court disagrees—I will tell them what I think.” Great, then they won’t let me/my son live here. I have tried being nice, I have tried listening, I have tried saying I can’t hear anymore of this today, he won’t stop.
I know there is no answer. I feel hopeless. I am standing strong in hopes that the CPS will nail him for me. Sorry for the length. After school tonight I’m writing a nasty letter to the S2BX to post, maybe that will help!!! I just want this part of my life to end so my son and I can move on in peace.
Wishing peace too all of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re:Hopeless incoherentlonghorn: I'm feeling better. Dad is going to have to make his own decisions and so do I. We will have to agree to disagree.
Every time I overcome an obstacle there seem to be twenty more the next day--I guess that is life. No one ever said that change is easy! I can figure out a way to approach this in a less passive agressive manner and go with the flow. Instead of trying to convince him, I will tell him you have made your bed, lets allow the court to decide.
I think that I lost it yesterday after I purchased a v-day card for my S2BX on my sons behalf, because I didn't want him to miss out. He needed me to spell I love you daddy as he wrote it. Then he became frustrated with the hearts, so I drew hearts all over this stupid card so my son could have the perfect card for his father.
I'm off to to funnel this negative energy into productivity. Cheers.
In general, I noticed how tense the postings seem to be this week. What holiday could possibly be worse during divorce? Or maybe it is the perfect opportunity to redefine who we are. Best wishes this week!
Re:Hopeless incoherentlonghorn: My attorney just called and was approved funds to fully represent my case.
I file tomorrow for a divorce.
I file tomorrow for a restraining order.
I file tomorrow for temporary custody.
I am simultaneously thrilled and terrified!
I thought this day would never come. :o ;D
