Re:The first few months picadilly: JimB is correct. Divorce/Seperation is like a death in the family. You're mourning the death of your marriage & the death of any dreams you had with your stbx/Ex.
I'm there with you Bushy, it's been 3 and a half months now since my wife left me. That first month was the worst for me, like I had my right arm cut off. At home, alone, I would break down & cry... cry for everything I had, my hopes & dreams. At work, even though I was busy, I moved like I was in a dream. I think I am lucky they didn't fire my @ss, I made so many mistakes that first month with my work. I know I cost the company some money with the repairs that were required. But alot of those errors could be attributed to lack of information so I got away with them.
I'm better now, I always felt alot better after a good cry. I was always ashamed of myself for breaking down like that but I think in the end, it's helped me move forward. I still feel down sometimes now. I'm in no way over her but I'm coping better now, my day to day life is working.
Many people will tell you that they have found their faith in God to help them. I am & never was into religion but I do believe that we all need something that we can have faith in again. If your into that, maybe talk to your pastor/rabbi/preist/monk/wicca. I have taken up yoga, it's not a religion but it's helping me to focus & calm myself down, to meditate.
I'm always be online to lend an ear if you need to talk to someone. Peace, brother.
Re:The first few months bushy: Thanks people,
this recovery process seems to be like a spiral pattern - you go forward for a while but can be sure you are gonna move backwards again soon after - maybe I've just completed my first "loop"?
You know last night was an odd one, thought I'd listen to some music for the first time since she went - MISTAKE -
TRACK 1: Donovan immediately chipped in with some sound words of wisdom in verse one that hit home like a sledgehammer:
In the chilly hours and minutes of uncertainty
I long to be
In the warm hold of your loving mind
To feel you all around me
To take your hand along the sand
Ah but I may as well try and catch the wind
With tears stinging my eyes I scroll on to track 2
TRACK 2: Bon Jovi adds to Donovan's poignant contribution:
Now the pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some they made us laugh
Some they made us cry
Some they made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips to hold you near
When you say your prayers
Try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man
More tears, more pain - perhaps track 3 will be better?
TRACK 3: The Beatles....
There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends, I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life......I've loved them all
THATS IT - music was turned off.... and me? I retracted back into the shell where I've been taking refuge for the last few months. Safe in the knowledge that I'm not ready for this yet - that there is still pain in there that is easy to bring to the surface.
Strange experiment I know - not sure what it taught me - at least, not sure it taught me a positive lesson anyway? Here are the peculiar customs and practices of people like me - a guy who currently dwells at number 13, "Rock bottom place," Rock Bottom, RB17 1RB.
Apologies, I've been drinking....
Bushman ??? :( :o
