Dear Neil Charlene: Neil, I can't begin to understand what it is you endure each day. You seemed so happy to have met me and we shared such closeness that was unique and special unlike any other I've known. The way you look into my eyes and tell me everything you see and hold me close so much that I feel I'm everything you have ever wanted or need. The way you wake in the night to run your hands through my hair and kiss my forehead while watching me sleep. I'm awake at these times. They make me feel so conscious to the fact that I love you. That you love me too. When you are distant with me I'm still with you. You are still in me and I take you everwhere too. It's like I know so much now about you and now over time, I've come to know your deep secrets. The ones you don't think anyone knows but I know them. I feel them. You can't be who you are with us being so close and not think I won't find out. I ache for you. If it means I can never be with you again, that the ache will end then it's one less ache in my heart. It's one less in yours because I can feel your guilty feelings. The torment that comes along with holding me and the thoughts that seep in that you can't fight. You fight me at these times because I think you are so confused. You will never know that I know all this because I will never tell you. I don't trust how you would respond. How it might impact me just the same and would rather it be the end. I hope you find your way and don't get involved with anyone until you have. Though I love you, someone might hate you and so please be careful. Get help and be who you are always live in the truth. The truth WILL set you free.
Love
