Birthdays & other holidays. clb: My birthday is fast approaching and even though deep down I know my sep husb will not acknowledte it, I am stressing reaching this day knowing that in the end I will be disappointed. I feel like he has ruined all holidays for me even my birthday. I just keep thinking of him. Even though these all existed before him, they were such special times between us. I know I need to face them, but feel like they will never be the same.
Re: Birthdays & other holidays. alonewith2: Try to stay busy on those days. Surround yourself with family and friends, but leave yourself an escape route should it become unbearable. The best thing to do is replace the old memories with newer happier ones. If not, then crawl up in a ball on the couch and give yourself a day off from the world......but you are only allowed one of these days once a month! ;D ;)
Re: Birthdays & other holidays. jt5639: I know how you feel...my birthday is coming up...I'm not sure if he'll take notice, or if he'll contact me, or if he will maybe just forget. I also have the added problem of his birthday being two weeks before mine, and so I think I have to set up the "rules" or something. And then I realize how silly it is that I am concerned about all of this as he is just not in my life (aside from a random e-mail every couple of months). I actually think about this way more than I am comfortable with. The day after his birthday will be the one year anniversary of his mother's death, and part of me wants to send a note saying happy b-day and that I am thinking of him and his mom. I think that may be the kind, friendly thing to do. But when I think of how un-friend like he treated me, how he mislead me and jumped into another relationship, I think he's not my friend why should I contact him. We'll see. I can't wait until it passes so I don'y have to think about it.
I decided to throw a party for my birthday...surround myself with the people who matter to me now, a little celebration after a rough bunch of months. Maybe you should do the same?
jt
Re: Birthdays & other holidays. pflow3000: I'm kinda on the opposite end. Her birthday is coming up in November. I'm debating over whether or not to....whatever! I think at this point I'll just send her a txt message or something simple like that. I know that a gift is out of the question and I'm pretty sure I shouldn't call....I think.
In the past I've always spent time with the kids making her cards, meals, finding her unexpected gifts which I thought were cool (like a bed full of teddy bears or a new outfit from head to toe including the unmentionables and some simple jewelry) but she never appreciated it and said to me that her birthdays always sucked (told me after we split) and that she would say she had to work those nights so she could go out with her friends (boy was I blind.)
So what am I to do??
Re: Birthdays & other holidays. jadedangel: [color=navy"> Indenial --
I think we all know that hump. Just like aw2 said -- stay busy. I know it catches up -- but if you gotta hold on. We are here to listen -- so tell us. I wish I knew how to make it easier for you --- but try to at least enjoy your birthday -- it's yours.
And .. Flow --- I don't think you owe her a damn thing --- I don't think you should do anything ... txt message .. maybe if your in a damn chipper mood -- but if she thought they 'sucked' before ... let her find out how it is when they really suck.
I know ... I am good at talking the talk ..... [/color">
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