Sex with the ex Jessy_Miami: Ok, Hi everyone... first post here.
I'm 33. Two kids, they live with their mother and we separated about 6 months ago. The reason for separation was two emotional affairs and one physycal without sex she had. The emotional ones were ther hardest on me. I found out after spying on her because I was pretty sure something was going on.
She's 31 very attractive, beautiful face and killer body, but at the same time very shy and insecure. We were both fit and beautiful when we married. then we BOTH gained some weight. During her affairs she became fit again. After arguing for months and having to see her come home late after 4:00AM almost every weekend I was going crazy. I really did not have time for that because of work (I work as a technology executive). I even tried to play dumb and tried as hard as I can to forget the affairs so not to confront her. But, once I saw one of the emotional affairs was about to become physycal I told her everything I knew. Her reaction was to beat the crap out of me while I standed still, after the beating she said she was going to suicide, of course it never happened.
now... after separation I had become fit again, family and friends tell me over and over how good I look, but I really don't feel like going out clubbing and meeting people online, I don't even go out.. In fact, some times a girl starts a conversation with me I find a way to get out.. no matter if she's pretty or not, is like I don't want anyhting now with anyone, yet I need the affection of a partner. I miss that.
Now, here's my problem. 3 months after separation I really didn;t think about her too much, in fact, I avoided her at all cost, because of all the things she reminded me. However, one night she invited me to dinner and i 'suspected' she wanted to get laid. But I wasn't really sure. So we went out, had food, wine, a great conversation and then she invited me to her place (kids were with her parents) the anticipation was killing me. And the sex we had that night was great. Next morning I pretended it was just sex.. but I couldn't let it go..
Now, after that little incident, we have had sex like 4 times in the most bizarre situations and all of them unplanned. She seems willing to keep this going on without any attachments and I think I can too. However, I do feel like an object, I don't mind having sex with her, but her affection while making love is GONE is completely gone and I need that even more than sex itself. I know it might sound strange at first, but I'm not the kind of guy who goes chasing girls to get laid just for having sex. I've only been with 4 girls in my entire life. 2 of them were Long term relationships and 2 high school friends who cheated on their boyfriends with me (they said they were in love with me) I treated them like they were princesses and they surely loved that.
Even though I don't cry thinking about her (I did when discovering affairs), I feel jelaous that she's going out almost every weekend, meeting friends and having so much fun. Even more incredible is the fact that I do know there are two guys hitting on her right now, she even said that to me openly.. and really I dind't care.. I'm most concerned with any one night stands she might have or guys she meets at clubs... question is WHY?? am I been insecure? Duing the affairs I was, I even though it was related to sexual performance but I later realized thats the ONLY thing she wants me now.. and I hate it. And no, I'm not well endowed, I'm not john holmes and I don't last 12 hours making love non stop, I just care for the person I'm with.
To me, right now she seems like a person who simply dont care for others feelings, she's very materialistic and she's trying to see if the grass is greener on the other side.. but it hurts me. It hurts me than my ex, who was once loving and caring is acting like a whore. Almost EVERY weekend, I stay with the kids home while she goes partying... as long as I don't know what she's doing I'm fine. But she get calls on her cell like every five minutes from guys she's giving her cell phone to. I don't hate her.. I accepted the fact that she is free to do what she pleases, but why act like a teen??
By the way... this all started when she got breast implants. It's like she transformed into another person.
Re: Sex with the ex Wolfman: you live together still? and you guys have kids or no? Your personality sounds a lot like mine. I'm in a very similar situation dude..i'm like 28.. i also had sex with my ex 4 times (very wierd coincidence) in the past month.. i divorced her in '03... and i started to see her cuz of my son.
It feels like we are lonely and no one is out there for us but the ones we feel the emotions for, whats worse is that they are reacting with aggressive social activity. My ex has told me she's seeing someone and is very happy even though we've had sex 4 times... dude i feel your pain..
Re: Sex with the ex Falcon554: OMG your me!! But we have had alot more sex then you have. Try in the last 5 months close to 70 times. Our divorce made our sex life so much better. She to did most of the stuff your talking about, but she did have a sexual affair and has been with 5 guys since and a 3some with her best friend and husband.
My wife is messed up big time, but I cant let her go either. We have been togeher since she was 16 years old.
I to watch my daughter and she goes out on the weekends. But now she is seeing someone, and yesterday for the first time in a month we had sex, she said she felt guilty about the other guy I was like hey its me silly, she said yea its ok if its you.
So weird im telling you. We always had great sex, I also know that I am much better then anyone she has been with, so thats not it. I just need to get away from this nut but I cant seem to.
Re: Sex with the ex Wolfman: damn Falcon lolz... seems like your in the pit too... gosh, people tell me that what it takes to get over this is "time and distance". Well I did that for about almost 2 years until now. This feels like some sort of a whirlpool we're in and we need a freakin rope to hang on to pull us up.. man.. wow 70 times? lolz I freakin cried and griefed and remorsed each one of the four times i had sex with her lol
one thing that always eases my pain just a tid bit for that part of the moment is listening to Eminem. This guy wrote a song about his gf, who was a slut, dunno but it gives me hope also that even big stars go through this too
Re: Sex with the ex Falcon554: [quote author=Wolfman link=topic=21050.msg196748#msg196748 date=1130692055">
damn Falcon lolz... seems like your in the pit too... gosh, people tell me that what it takes to get over this is "time and distance". Well I did that for about almost 2 years until now. This feels like some sort of a whirlpool we're in and we need a freakin rope to hang on to pull us up.. man.. wow 70 times? lolz I freakin cried and griefed and remorsed each one of the four times i had sex with her lol
one thing that always eases my pain just a tid bit for that part of the moment is listening to Eminem. This guy wrote a song about his gf, who was a slut, dunno but it gives me hope also that even big stars go through this too
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Well I had to put all emotion out of it, but we did make love 4 times during these last 5 months the rest has just been boneing. She is a much better lover now then she was before, that comes with experiance, before it was just me and me alone.
I really dont have a problem with the sex, im very open when it comes to that, and I knew she would not go for the rest of her life with just me.
Yea in one month we did it 40 time, boy was i tired, she became a nypho to a degree. But thats when I lived back at home we did it everyday sometimes 2 or 3 times aday. while she was being with the affair guy. Yea I used a condom.
Think we both have issues lol
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