Re: It's like an illness jadedangel: [quote author=lexi1012 link=topic=21059.msg196856#msg196856 date=1130712567">
Sometimes when you are sick you start to feel better and then you relapse - same thing with emotions. When will it end???? I hate that it is so easy for him (or it appears to be) - guess that shouldn't be a surprise, it was his choice.
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[color=navy"> I think alot of that probably at least once a day -- usually more often than that. I think we are all sorta here ... searching and waiting for the answer -- When will it end --- because I am sick of it already. I also hate that it was so easy for him to just break a promise of love to me --- and the fact that I can't give up on my promise.[/color">
Re: It's like an illness Falcon554: LOL your throw stuff agains the wall :) It hurts but im very lilberal when it comes to sex anyway. So its not that big of deal to me. I have had sex with about 20 girls when we met.
its the emitional part that hurts. Sex is sex. And whoever she ends up with will never has as much sex as I had with her in the last 21 years. :)
Re: It's like an illness rjack0612: It is amazing, it is now 7 months since she left. I am still a basket case. I cry myself to sleep each night. Not hat I want her back, that is impossible. I could never trust her again. It is just that I WAS SO WRONG. How could someone who professed her love just leave. How could she move right in with someone? She has never even said, I'm sorry... We have only spoken a handful of times and then only in regard to my son. How could someone just cut you out of their life without an explanation?
Re: It's like an illness Falcon554: Well there im lucky my wife has said she was sorry so many times. And we talk most everyday and we talked alot in the 4 months before this. She knows what she has done and I know she feels horrible for hurting me. But for some reason she cant stop herself.
I can see a year down the road when all of this crap she has been thru gets old that she gives me a call. Who knows if I will still be there or not.
I know in my heart she still cares for me. But its buried deep in that heart.
She wrote me a poem not to long ago. Wish I had it. But the point of it was, She was floating on the ocean going here and there and landing on the beach, I was right behind her picking up what she left behind.
Here is part of the only letter she wrote me.
"Ill look back (on today) with the eyes of tomarrow." And hope that I can see the pain in your eyes has long disappeared.
Im so sorry for the pain in your heart. I cant take back what Ive done , It would of happend eventually, I know that now.
See she does care some. :( god reading that letter just tore me up again.
Re: It's like an illness karmarain: I definitely know what you guys (and gals) are going through -- it's been two years for me, and I'm still asking questions -- of which I will never have answers for. I think one thing we can learn is simply to never treat anyone else the way we've been treated. I wonder about karma -- will these people who so selfishly hurt others actually ever have to settle up? I'm beginning to think: no. So instead of waiting for the universe to right itself, it's better to just let the whole thing go.
