Progress Trying2Hope: I'm tired of being stuck in neutral, so I hereby declare to this little corner of the world that my divorce (one year since it was finalized) will NOT be the end of my progress in life. I'm going to be an amazing person in SPITE of the hardships I've had to endure.
I haven't dated much since she left almost two years ago, but that doesn't matter. Being with someone else doesn't define me. I don't need another person in my life to make me "complete." I'm already complete.
Exercise your freedom, people. Lonliness sucks, but freedom is pretty damn awesome.
Think I'll go make a list of 10 things I want to do with my life in the next 12 months. Later.
Re: Progress hudson: [quote author=Trying2Hope link=topic=21067.msg196930#msg196930 date=1130723058">
Exercise your freedom, people. Lonliness sucks, but freedom is pretty damn awesome.
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That new sense of freedom is worth the pain, imo. And you're absolutely right about not needing somebody else to define you.
In fact, i'm always surprised at how many ojarians are so ready to jump right back into the next big relationship, given what just happened to them. I'm mean some people don't even give themselves enough time to assess their failed marriage, find out what went wrong, find out how they need to change, gain some comfort in their singleness, heal, etc.
And that's not saying I didn't have my little jaunt into world of serious relationships shortly following my divorce, but it was very short lived and I ain't doin' it again right away.
Re: Progress BONILLAK: I can only speak for me but I think I would be just fine in a new relationship if I wanted one or one found me. I know my marriage failed due to us growing apart....nothing really major happened and our marriage was over a couple years ago so I do feel like I healed in that aspect. I mourned the loss of this wayyy before it actually ended so maybe others have too so thats why they seem to be able to move on quickly.
Re: Progress hudson: [quote author=LivingANewLife link=topic=21067.msg196942#msg196942 date=1130725609">
I can only speak for me but I think I would be just fine in a new relationship if I wanted one or one found me. I know my marriage failed due to us growing apart....nothing really major happened and our marriage was over a couple years ago so I do feel like I healed in that aspect. I mourned the loss of this wayyy before it actually ended so maybe others have too so thats why they seem to be able to move on quickly.
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Yeah, but I think it's important to give yourself enough time to understand how you got yourself into the doomed relationship in the first place so as not to repeat the mistake. Finding out what we did wrong in the marriage, figuring out how we allowed the marriage to fall apart, why it fell apart. That's hard to do when you go and occupy yourself with another relationship right away. There's no time to just be by yourself and get to really know yourself.
And I think it's important to appreciate the positive aspects of being single too. Many people feel that being single is like having a disease that they need to cure as soon as possible. I see it a lot on ojar.
Re: Progress BONILLAK: That can be true...being single is not a disease. I just liked being married and the whole family thing. I really don't think I was at fault at all in our marriage. Just grew apart and he bailed. When people are together from the age of 16 until mid to late 30's, it happens. I do know a couple things I can work on with myself but all in all the marriage failed because of nothing imparticular. I guess every situation is so unique on here that everyone just must do whats right for them. I surely wouldn't rush into a relationship but if it happened I wouldn't sabotage it by trying to stop it.
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