Re: Newbie~Am I really over this? cyncyn_22: crow is absolutely right. No one deserves to be abused, verbally, emotionally, or physically. Sure, everybody makes mistakes and nobody can be the perfect spouse, but that doesn't excuse his abusive behavior towards you. And don't let him try to convince you that it's your fault or that you're a bad person for leaving him!
Instead, be strong and know that you deserve someone better than that. :)
I hope things work out with your current boyfriend. ;) ;D
cyncyn_22
Re: Newbie~Am I really over this? in_search_of: You are out of the situation now, which is good, I am so sorry to hear your story. Its heartwrenching at best and make me want to lose my lunch at worst. I am so sorry for all the things that have happened to you.
You cannot compare future relationships to the one that you had. You were young, got into a relationship did everything RIGHT as far as you could. You were not at fault here, though I am sure you feel as though you are/were. Guess what, that is what he wanted you to feel, he verbally and physically abused you to take away your power, to make you powerless, to put you at fault.
I wish that any of us could tell you that love is or is not enough to make a relationship last. I think from each and every person on this board you would get a different answer. And we would all be right. Here is the thing I see right off. You say that based on your last relationship you think that love might not be enough....here is my question to you then, do you think that there was true two way reciprocated lovE? Because as much as he might have said he hit you because he loved you. HE DIDN'T. He didn't love you the way you loved him, so no, in that relationship your love was not enough to keep the relationship alive. One person cannot ever keep it alive on their own, it always takes two.
Re: Newbie~Am I really over this? ya_crow: [quote author=IlliniGirl link=topic=21068.msg197130#msg197130 date=1130783968">
I am just worried that something in me will cause things to change. I love this man. I do. I love him with all my heart and soul.
[/quote">
Just a quick addition:
I remember my ex telling me one night as we lay in each others arms "I hope this never changes" I asked what she ment and I didn't understand the answer at the time. I realise now she ment that she hoped her feelings for me didn't change (which they did soon afterwards). DO NOT LET YOUR FEELINGS CHANGE BECAUSE OF SOMETHING IN YOUR PAST. Always look to the future,
[quote author=IlliniGirl link=topic=21068.msg197130#msg197130 date=1130783968">
Will my loving him be enough to make us last?
[/quote">
Probably not, but if you love him and he loves you then it has a good chance. If you didn't love him it would have no chance. It may not be enough on it's own, it depends on all sorts of things and who you both are as individuals, what you both expect from each other.
Just remember that love is the one ingredient that a relationship cannot last without so if you've got that it's a start.
Re: Newbie~Am I really over this? IlliniGirl: C is a really great guy. He is wonderful to me, and I guess I have just been in a dark place for a while, with no reasoning for it. I get frustrated because C and I live quite a ways apart, and so it's every couple of months between our time together. It's hard being in a long distance relationship....much more difficult that I initially thought it would be. He is wonderful though.
