Re: wife stopped by... stayed for dinner... Lumpy: Wow. It seems like the whole coach thing is really paying off. I really like the way you are handling this. The letter was great. You really get it. Whether or not this works out the way you hope it sounds like you are growing. Good luck Irony. You're doing a lot more than just wishing, you're working. That's what it takes. ;D
Re: wife stopped by... stayed for dinner... Irony: [quote author=Lumpy link=topic=21080.msg197167#msg197167 date=1130787160">
Wow. It seems like the whole coach thing is really paying off. I really like the way you are handling this. The letter was great. You really get it. Whether or not this works out the way you hope it sounds like you are growing. Good luck Irony. You're doing a lot more than just wishing, you're working. That's what it takes. ;D
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Thanks Lumpy. i appreciate the feedback.
It is what I have to do.. what was doing before just pushed her out the d*mn door.
"When you got nothin' you got nothin' to lose( Bob Dylan)
I miss her like crazy.
I would really love to hear from some of the women on this board as well.
Re: wife stopped by... stayed for dinner... in_search_of: I think you are making great strides. And your "fake it until you make it dinner" seems like it might have done just that. You survived it, you did well, and you were able to be the mature adult that you are showing to us!
I think you did ALL the right things. I am quite impressed with you and the grace and charm that you showed in the situation!
I think you should definitely send the email that you put up here. I think it shows lots of growth and potential and conveys just the message that you are looking for.
*HUGS*
Re: wife stopped by... stayed for dinner... Irony: Thanks ISO;
By the way, she is NOT doing well. She is a beautiful woman and looked like hell when she came over. And that's hard for her to do.
As for great strides, I hope I'm moving in the right direction here...making great strides in the wrong direction will get me quickly to where I don't want to be.. Guess I'm just getting impatient already (only a week since she moved out) and want to have her maybe chase me for a change. I gave up chasing her a while back.
I don't know about grace and charm.. I just know that I need to move on for my son and myself and it's time to sh*t or get off the pot as they say. I want to move this process forward, and the only way I know how is to really let her know/believe I'm ready to move on for real. Maybe that's a bit disingenuous, but if she is confused and that's why she needed her 'spacfe' then I want to light a fire under her and bring things to a boil.
And thanks for the hugs.. they've been few and far between lately.
Phil
Re: wife stopped by... stayed for dinner... in_search_of: Well, from what I can tell you have made grand steps for a week. Even if right now even some of it is lip service...that's okay, you are only a week into it. And I think you are going in the right direction. Its hard to evaluate what is the right direction sometimes, but if you are doing what is best for you and for your son then you are doing the right thing. Period. You cannot do what is right for your child and be doing the wrong thing.
She left saying she needed her space and that is exactly what she is getting! That is all you can do. It sound to me that both of you are doing a good job of taking the space and using the resources around you to either make this work or have a situation where you can say "I did EVERYTHING I could to make it work." Attending counseling, using your resources etc. I am impressed and grateful to see that there are people who really take the advice given, and make a change. I think that your story and strides (no matter how they work out) should be an example to others.
AND....god knows if I really thought that you were doing something wrong then I would tell you! *HUGS*
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