havent seen ex in over a year moonshine: i havent seen my ex fiancee in over year, which was a few months after she broke it off for another man.
i want to know if anyone who saw their ex after a considerable amount of time, like a year or over, can explain what it was like when they actually did see them after all that time?
im not sure if its right or wrong, but when i do see her, i really want to not look like the man i became when she left. im still sad and feel alone at times, but my life has changed as i got a new job and things are looking better. ive got in noticeably better shape, and ive fixed my appearance up considerably from what it was before. question is, does it even matter if she sees me as a whole different man, physically speaking? am i wasting my time and she wont even care?
the reason i ask is, because i left her feeling empowered, i dont want her to know that she had power over me, and to let her know what shes missing. i want to portray myself as the strong confident man i was before, not the physically weak one i had become with her ( i know i shouldnt care what she thinks but still....)
sounds real stupid i guess
Re: havent seen ex in over a year OnceAgain: This does NOT sound stupid at all...
Actually, we are all human. Remember? And therefore, we all want to come out of the sh*t better off, and we want it to show. No one wants their ex to see them and think "man...I really did a number on him/her." Right?
So as petty as it may seem, there is no better revenge then if we can appear better off then what we were when we were with that other person, whether or not we truly feel that way inside. It is human nature to hope that the ex looks at us and thinks that no permanent damage was done; that what hurt we may have endured was something that we took for what it was, something to grow and improve upon.
I was watching "The Story of Us" the other night...it's this incredibly dramatic, terribly whiney movie about a couple contemplating divorce, and how they go up and down, back and forth. And I sat there thinking, is this me? Is this the crap that I have been reduced to? These arguments, in this movie, seemed all too familiar. And then, of course, they decide to work it out in the end, and everything is sunshine and roses...
But then there was something...one tiny bit that stood out. They remembered who they were in the process. Not just "us". Not just "we". But who they actually were as people - individuals. And I think that becomes lost so easily in relationships, and we compromise on it so easily. And often, that is the first thing we have to remember...
Re: havent seen ex in over a year LifeisBetter: Success is the best revenge.
I'm sure seeing you will pain her heart a little (that is if she has a heart). I know it was almost a year since I saw my ex last. When I did see him he was amazed at how different I was. He was taken back, but it didn't change the situation any. Sure he might of had a little guilt over leaving me for someone else, but he also knew that he had no power over me and I wouldn't have anything to do with him anymore.
Actually when I saw my ex I was shocked. Every positive I made in my life equaled one negative in his. I lost weight, he gained; I got a new job, he lost his job, etc.
Re: havent seen ex in over a year moonshine: hey thanks guys, great responses.
when my ex left me and she made some really hurtful comments to me, considering she used to love me for the opposite.
she used to drool over my body and how she was so attracted to my confidence. then tough times hit and i lost my job and some weight. i guess she didnt want to dig deep with me. she found a new man, then she told me i was unstable and that i was too skinny :(
i know people say noone can change you, but i personally feel i lost out with her. to help her out with her problems, i ended up changing my own life, only to have her bail.
im not really sure if im doing it for myself, but i just want to sort of send a message to her that what she did was wrong.
ps i actually resorted to begging her back, then making threats to her when i found the whole time i was begging, she was really engaged to another man already.... >:(
(that made me angry, but i begged her back cause i was alone and down and out.....so i guess thats why i really need to show her too)
