I feel so.....confused. Suddenly Single: I'm in a situation I've never been in before. I'm confused. I don't know how to handle most of my life right now...I always had a handle on my life before - I never realized how easy it was. I mean I was thankful but golly I didn't know how easy it was. Everything that has been stable for me in the past is not now.....money, where I live, relationships - my sanity!
I am in love with a wonderful person and take everything else aside - our connection, friendship and love is beyond compare. However, in order to have him - I must take in so many other variables that are many causes of my stress. Is this normal? Is this is what life is like? A check and balance system that sort of evens out. I get to be in this incredible relationship but in turn have to deal with these other factors?
ugh....i'm so confused.....anyone else ?
Re: I feel so.....confused. manda: What do mean when you say you have to take in so many other variables?
Is it possible that they aren't that bad?
Sometimes we build things up and when we talk about them, they aren't really as bad as we think.
Sorry you are confused right now. It IS wonderful that you are in love, though, right?
Re: I feel so.....confused. Suddenly Single: Well right now I'm just in a funky mood and probably pms'ing and I had a bad night yesterday......so yeah things are a little bit built up....
Well I moved out of state to be with him - left my apartment, job, mom, and friends. I have no job here yet - just a few part time things going. Don' t really have friends here. He has 3 kids. Lives in the house he built for his wife. His ex is a psychotic, sneaky, deceitful, bitter, game playing bitch. I feel like I'm working very hard to help him better his financial situation and don't see him doing much....
that is my list now.......
yes it is wonderful that I'm in love and I appreciate it but will all these other things overshadow that?
Re: I feel so.....confused. manda: Okay, let's look at this carefully. (if you don't mind)
First of all, this is new right? (How long since you moved?) So you are probably in a little bit of a shock right now with it all. When you made the decision to relocate I'm sure you thought out a lot of things. Those reasons for moving are pushed aside temporarily as you panic. That would be normal.
Second, when you have a job, you will have a routine and people really need a routine to feel secure and in control, so some of your feelings are from the lack of routine. That is temporary so you can rest assured that THAT is the reason for some of your confusion. Temporary--say it with me: "temporary".
Third, you are scared. That is understandable. The new life will include these kids and their mother in a small way, so you are scared. That's okay. Admit it when you need to, but don't let it control you.
Fourth, because you are in panic mode, ANYTHING he does or doesn't do is goind to bother you. Try to focus on you. If he TRUELLY isn't doing what he should for you, deal with that later--it's too early to panic about that too. Remember your reasons for being there.
Oh, SS, you have every right to all these feelings. And you are so brave to try it all. You are trying to LIVE! You're going after a LIFE. It's okay. and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work but you won't have to wonder "what if" because you were too afraid to TRY.
I admire you...from my safe little world where I am not budging lately.
Re: I feel so.....confused. Suddenly Single: Thank you Random. You made me cry. Just more out of relief to know someone understands and can just help put perspective on it.
You are right and I know it. But it doesn't fix that I'm so dang scared. He is asking if I were to live with him if that would make things better and I don't know. I'm afraid because I feel that it will just make things worse with her...things seemed to escalate when I met the kids, then when I moved...... >:( The main problem is that the kids love me. Just things are coming to a head now and maybe that is what is hard....he needs to find a new job ASAP - he has some legal things coming up and that need to be taken care of with her and they are going to negotiations again to change some things in the papers.....I'm nervous and scared. I am just afraid she is going to take away the kids from him - he suprisingly is at peace with that if it were to happen. but there is just so much unknown right now. I guess I'mnot used to being out of my comfort zone. If I told you what happened last night.......you would say......it is NOT that big of a deal...but at the moment...it was.
Thanks so much Random. I appreciate it.
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