Sad LOST1977: Well it is a friday. I find myself hating this day of the week.....Well we went to our second session at the therapist. I have this strong feeling of sadness. It just did not seem like a positive session towards are realationship. I feel so down right now. Keep in mind neither of has cheated or abused each other. We sit there and she is silent the whole time. I have no idea what do. It is so painful to sit there and see her not talk but to tear up. I hate it that she puts it all on me and it is me who needs to get better. It really hit when the Dr. said it is not going to work for us unless things change. OUCH!!!.... Well i am just down. We have another exercise to do for the next two weeks. First one we failed miserably i think. I hope a two hour workout will get this horrible feeling in my gut to go away
Re: Sad manda: What is the exercise you have to do this week, if you don't mind my asking?
Re: Sad LOST1977: It is a "wish list" things we like to know the other really cares. We wrote examples and handed to each other. For example mine to her was excitemnet in her voice a massage.......little things.....Her 's was hold her hand talk to her on the phne walk with her and the dog.....Not hard things but we went throught the list there and criticized it. Last session i was engerized when i left like it is going to be okay.....But a few hours later it was just down hill...I dont mind the exercises but hope it is recipocated (SP)
Re: Sad manda: I just wondered because we are doing a workbook without a therapist and it isn't going well. Sometimes I think we are doing more damage than good.
That sounds like a good assignment.
By the way, my H says the same thing you said. He says he wants me to sound happy to hear from him--like when I talk to other people on the phone.
I guess I don't sound like I am happy to hear from him. But maybe it is because he moved out and said he didn't want to live with us anymore...maybe...
Some of what she said she'd like is similar to my wants. I think it is interesting--the similarities. Maybe all the problems are communication ones because men and women have different needs and maybe when we all study them, it will become easier. That thought makes things easier to take--not as personal.
Re: Sad alonewith2: [quote author=random link=topic=21522.msg201215#msg201215 date=1131746434"> .
Some of what she said she'd like is similar to my wants. I think it is interesting--the similarities. Maybe all the problems are communication ones because men and women have different needs and maybe when we all study them, it will become easier. That thought makes things easier to take--not as personal.
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During our pre-marriage counseling, our pastor gave us a book to read about the different love languages. There are differences between males and females...and individual differences between us all....on what it is we want the other to do to show their love. We show another person we love them by OUR standards...aka what WE want, but we don't take into consideration what THEY want. But of course, no one will know if we don't tell them!!
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