sent him an e-mail starzluv: well he came over today, and after he left i got really down and desided to send him an e-mail. i probably shouldn't because i'm scared of what he will say but i had to i can't stay in limbo any more. i told him that if he really wants to go through with a divorce, then to tell me. it's not what i want, but i can't stay with him if he doesn't want to be married anymore. i told him if he wants it i will go down to legal aide and file. with the assistance i recieve, they will waive the filing fees (or so my case worker said they would) and we could be done with it. i just can't take it any more. i was never the "strong" one in the family, and if my sister had to go on antidepressants after her H walked out, i'm soo scared what this is going to do to me. i have never had very good confidence in myself, and some days i feel like that's it. that's the only love besies my kids and family that i will ever have. i am trying to take care of my 3 kids (6,5&2) on my own pretty much. my MIL picks them up from day care for me since i work till 6 and daycare closes at 5:30 and she watches them for me on Sundays while i'm at work, but that is the only time i don't have the kids ,while at work. i don't get to go out and have a drink, or play a game of pool. how am i suppose to meet some one and move on if he wants a divorce when i can't even go out? and even if i could get out how easy is it going to be to find someone who is ok with not having any kids with me and take on my 3. when i was pregnant with our 2 year old he desided after this one he didn't want any more kids so i took the leap i didn't want to and had my tubes tied, i mean why not i had 3 kids with the person i thought i was going to spent the rest of my life with. maybe this is more of a vent, i don't know any more.
Re: sent him an e-mail manda: I am constantly in awe of you guys on here with little kids. I know it must be hard. The MIL is nice to do what she is doing. What about the dad? Is he not doing any of it? I think churches should put people like you in contact with people like me (not bvery busy and would like to be) or retired ladies who could babysit as their volunteer work. Maybe they do.
You really do need to get out some. Does anyone else have any ideas?
Re: sent him an e-mail lilly10: Do you have a good friend that has kids? I have 2 friends that both have kids and they switch off taking care of the kids for eachother from time to time. That way there they dont have to pay a sitter and the favor is always returned.
I agree you need to get out and do something just for you.
Re: sent him an e-mail starzluv: their dad comes by to see them every now and then, but as for taking them on his own he can't handle it. he says the place he is staying is too small to have all 3 of them stay the night, and he works till 11pm 6-7 days a week so that doesn't help. if it wasn't for my MIL i wouldn't have been able to take the job i had, or the job i now have. she saved me again tonight cuz the school accidentally sent him to his daycare instead of putting him on the bus, and my H borrowed the car to go to work. if not for her, i don't know how i would have gotten him home from school. hopefully my dad is comming back to visit for Christmas, if he doesn't, i have no idea how i'm going to be able to do any shoping. plus if he does come to visit, he will watch them for a couple hours if i want to go play some pool or get a drink. it will be easy for him though cuz i wouldn't go out till about 8 and i put the kids down around 7:30 for bed. just got to wait another month and hope he does deside to buy the ticket. it'll be about $475. it'll take him from AZ to NC to visit one of my sisters first and the about the 15th bring him here for christmas and then take him back to AZ after new years. not a bad price. hurry up Dec get here. that's all i can say right now.
and lilly,
i've only lived here a short time, the only one i really have is my MIL and she helps as much as she can, but she can't take them just so i can go out, and as much as she is doing for me and the kids, i can't even ask her to. not only has she been watching the kids so i can work, but before i got this neww job, she has paid our lot rent of $365 a month, and the electric of $95 a month, and the trash bill of $45 every 3 months. He left in July and i was a stay at home mom till i found my job. it will be nice to be able to give her the money for rent and utilities. but as for asking her to watch the kids just so i can go out, i can't do it.
Re: sent him an e-mail manda: Yeah, you are kind not to ask her to do that.
Maybe things will get better as you get to know some people. I will pray for that.
Things sometimes work out in mysterious ways.
Your H should at least take them to the park one day a weekend or take the older two. But it sounds like it won't happen so maybe something else will...soon.
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