Fiance cheated stanker: She told me she had been f**king a friend of mine. Thankfully, we weren't married yet, since one of the times turned out to be the day I proposed (she said yes, by the way). We've since broken up and now stuck in this limbo since we still live together (can't afford to leave and break my lease). She wants to be together, but I'm so messed up now I can't even think about it. I can't figure out if she's really sorry for what she did or sorry for herself that she messed up something that she thought was so horrible, but now realizes wasn't so bad. I can't figure it out...
Re: Fiance cheated...Happy Thanksgiving! hardened_heart1970: hi welcome to ojar, you will get some good help here......
i have been through the "who wants to be monogamous" game.
she used her " f*ck my friend " option after 10 years. i guess really good friends will take anything from you.
sit and think wisely. can you forgive her for that? i know i couldnt, but in the begginnninnng i would have severed my arms to have the tramp back..
if you KNOW 10000% YOU can, the seek counciling if she really wants to, and there is no hesitation in her voice when you ask...
and your friend will self destruct. i had massive anger issues with him, and all it got me was a PO against him. he was a scared little sissy girl.....
make sure you can forgive her or not, then go from there. good luck it will get better, once you figure out your path...
Re: Fiance cheated...Happy Thanksgiving! ajw: My ex was as they say "monogamously challenged" as well,when i found out,she cried for weeks begging me to take her back,but the whole time even when begging to come back she slept with at least 2 other guys.
Be honest,can you take anything she says even vaguely serious after what she did.Ok yes she may be sorry she did it,she may even be sorry she hurt you......but given the chance and oppurtunity,she'll be knickers down and legs open for the first guy that pays her any attention.......run away....run far far away from this woman
Re: Fiance cheated...Happy Thanksgiving! Zipsfb: I read you post and can't imagine what you're going through. My X also cheated, but I was not engaged, and I can't imagine even on the day you proposed?!?! Who does that? You have a right to be angry, but also remember it isn't contructive, forgiveness is key to healing. I threw up for days after my X told me, and it took me a long time to be able to forgive her. It still hurts when I think about it, but now it is far enough to where I am able to get over it. You will be the same way, just hang in there. Try not to burn bridges, take some time to yourself and really sort this out, then decide whether or not this is something you can work out. You have a lot of sh** on your plate, and I'm sorry its thanksgiving time. It's great you are thinking about what you do still have to be thankful for, keep up that kind of thinking. Let me know if you need anything!
Re: Fiance cheated...Happy Thanksgiving! Konan: Hi Stanker,
I'm sorry about what she did and know how horrible it feels. As you can see, you're not alone. Many of us find ourselves in the same shoes you are in now.
My X-wife cheated on me too. We were together for 6 1/2 years, married for 2 1/2. She lied and deceived. To pull something like this off, like what your girl did at the time she was accepting your proposal, requires intentional acts - acts of deception whereby she's looking right in your eyes and lying.
When the level of betrayal involved became clear to me, I knew I had to let her go, because I could never trust her again. It was, and still is one year later, very hard to let someone you love go.
These words have helped me:
"I'm not upset because you lied to me. I'm upset because I can never believe you again."
Stanker, IMO if you continue and get married to this girl you will always resent what she did. It will eat away at the relationship. And rightfully so. You have every right to resent her, and more. The day you get engaged is supposed to be special, something you talk about for years later. Your 'engagement story' is unfortunately and sadly contaminated, polluted, by her selfish act of deception. I'm very sorry. You can do better. What she did has got to be the mother of all red flags. Don't ignore it.
Peace, Konan.
Click More for the next page.
