Re: talking to others - any regrets? timetobefree: This is interesting, because I understand what most of you are saying. Once you tell someone what is going on in your personal life, the cat is out of the bag and you can't take it back.
However, in my case, as soon as I found my ex cheating on me, I told my mom. If it weren't for her, I would still be in that horrible marriage. She was the one who made me call a therapist, made me call a lawyer. Basically, she was the one who helped me put one foot in front of the other. While I knew my marriage was toxic, I didn't have the strength on my own to get out. Once I went to therapy (which my ex REFUSED to join me for), I could put one foot in front of the other on my own. But I needed that support to even reach out that far.
I am not saying that my way is the only way, but sometimes talking to others can be helpful. I guess you need to carefully pick who it is you share the information with.
Amy
Re: talking to others - any regrets? techick: Beren,
I just had a similar conversation with my XBF or BF, whatever!
Anyway, I told him that I needed us to talk about this and decide some things together, he's been running the show and told me to jsut go along with his plan ::) So I told him that fo rus to be together that I need us to talk or I am moving on and to heck with his plan, if he wasn't going to talk to me about it and have it be our decision...anyway, so! He said he was disgesting it and after and hr or so (he's had 2 mths to think on this one and I though he was telling me what he wanted) he still hadn't decided what he wanted to do, so I told him that I didn't want someone that had to convince themselves that they want to be with me. Giving time was diff, with all we had to deal with, but to have to take that long to decide after 2 mths of being apart....I figure if it's not apparent then it's not something he really wants. But I see what you mean and I told him pretty much the same thing, I am here becuase I was committed, but it's not goig to last for forever and he needs to figure something out, been saying that for 2 mths. I don't kno3w why people think you are going to wait forever for them, I mean you are a person and even if you are loyal as can be and totally in love, it rips you apart to be in limbo for too long!!!! I just wish THEY would get this point too:(
I have been trying to do what you did too, just make my own deicsion and go on with life, I really am trying this.
Thank-you for sharing yoru story:)
