Re: Who would like to see divorce reform hudson: [quote author=barelybreathing link=topic=22031.msg205925#msg205925 date=1133118236">
I am all for anything that makes couples stay in the marriage.
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A person should stay in a marriage because they choose to. And besides, I don't care how many shrinks, couselling sessions, seminars, and additional laws you add...if a person wants out, they'll get out.
I don't want my exwife with me right now just because a court tells her she has to be. She wanted to leave, that was her choice.
I mean it sucks that families are torn apart and hearts are broken, but hey, that's part of life.
I do however understand the desperation that would lead a person to believe that, no matter what the circumstances, everything would be better if only the ex spouse were forced or made to stay with them.
my two cents
Re: Who would like to see divorce reform mountainmandew: It looks to me that some action could be taken to ease the burden of this "legal contract" between a man and a woman, now what can we do? When i got married it was because of love, now it seems the attornies, want everybody to hate each other and fight! We need to do something to stop these attornies from getting rich off our emotions! The marraige certificate is not a ticket to throw your life, and lifes savings down the toilet!
I have e-mailed several Ohio legislators, and got the response," We are sponsoring a bill to force people to undergo counoling before they get married. Any ideas?
Re: Who would like to see divorce reform tara: Not me.
Do you really want the courts to force an ex who doesn't want to be there to stay with you? Even if there was no abuse, adultery, abandonment or addiction?
Would you want a court to make you PROVE abuse (which, sadly, isn't always provable, especially when it's not physical) in order to dissolve an abusive marriage? Or adultery? That's hard to prove, too. Would you want your spouse who wants out following you around to see if you had dinner with a member of the opposite sex (never mind that it's your gay friend you've had since childhood) so they could maybe spin it into something the court will like?
I agree with blazin'heart -- a civil marriage is a legal contract, period. Like any other legal contract, there has to be a way to terminate the contract without placing an undue burden on either party. Otherwise, it's not a contract -- you've signed your life away.
By the time my marriage ended, neither of us wanted to be there. Counseling would have just made us more stubborn. And a prolonged court case to show cause would have turned us into enemies, which we weren't. I sure as hell wouldn't have wanted to laundry list everything he's ever done wrong, nor would I have wanted him to do the same for me, just so we could get through the damn thing. (I mean -- we hashed out our settlement on my laptop, over Korean food. That would have been impossible if we'd had to show cause.)
Re: Who would like to see divorce reform BambiC: My ex gave me divorce papers he had sent away for and had been bugging me to sign for over a month. Turns out he never read them, there were tons of errors and I didn't have to sign them, he did!!! Needless to say they haven't been signed. He's a lot of talk but when it comes down to it he still doesn't know what he's doing. Point is anyways, the papers had in them that the person who was "suing" for the divorce could have the court order that the other spouse attend counseling with them. I think that ultimately I'm going to end up serving him with papers (I think it's better for my legal rights but I haven't talked to an attorney yet). When I do I'm going to insist on counseling. Not so much to reconcile our marriage but rather to help us end it with my heart still intact. Maybe there are pieces of the law already in place if you use them that make it a little less convenient for the leaver to get the divorce.
BambiC
