My Story... ohill: I've been reading posts on OJAR since January, and have found many of them to be helpful. Some of the posts have resonated with me in a very clear way because of similarities to my owh thoughts and feelings. I figure it's about time to start contributing to the mix and bouncing some ideas off of others...so here's my story as a start.
I met my ex-wife in November of 2003, and we had a fabulous dating relationship. We got married in January of 2004, and she left me a short time later in November of 2004. After a brief attempt to reconcile and because of behavior that I found to be totally unacceptable, I filed for divorce in February of 2005. The divorce was finalized in July of 2005.
This was my first marriage, and my ex-wife's second. We are now both 28. I live in the Denver area. My ex-wife has a first-grade son from her first marriage who lives with his Dad full-time out of state. My ex-wife and I both come from conservative Christian backgrounds where marriage is held in high regard as a lifetime endeavor. When we dated and were married we both ascribed to Christian beliefs. My faith in God has strengthened after a serious self-examination. My my ex-wife now believes in an existentialist/western post-modern philosophy.
Now that the divorce is finalized I can look back and consider from a top-level perspective some of the lessons that I have learned, many of which I should have learned much sooner. Several of them I didn't learn earlier because I'm too dense, and several of them I didn't learn because I was in the trenches and unable or unwilling to be objective/open-minded...
For approximately the last year I have sought the advice of a psychologist, read several self help/relationship/psychology related books, and attended a divorce recovery workshop hosted by a local church. All of these have helped me to gain better perspective on what happened, why it happened, and what lessons can be learned as a result. As tempting as it is (and as correct as it may be) to lay a huge amount of blame on my ex-spouse, I have worked hard to determine what role and what level of blame I should objectively be willing to accept in my failed marriage. The work to determine these issues continues...I suppose that is why I am here. I hope to gain further insight from those who have been or are going through similar situations...
So, that's the (overly) short version of my story...thanks for letting me stop by...
