Re: What is right regarding holidays? wpgilbe: Interesting, Hurtnlost. Your first scenario sounds just like mine. Mine are 3 and 5. I have them from Wednesday before Thanksgiving until Sunday after. Ex gets them the week before Christmas. Kids are handed off to me on Christmas Day for a week. That alternates each year. We will be at our respective family homes (about 2 hours away from each other). Holidays have always been special for me, so this one is especially tough. I can sympathize.
P
Re: What is right regarding holidays? tara: J's got an arrangement similar to SS's BF's -- on paper. But it's probably going to be done on the fly each year (which they're allowed to do without court intervention if they both agree; if one of them doesn't agree, it reverts to the paper order).
This year, it was:
Thanksgiving: Ex, custody transfer that night, because it was convenient
Christmas Eve: Ex
Christmas Day: Ex until afternoon, dinner together (I'm invited too), J after that; he has the daughter through...
New Year's Eve, Day: J
A lot of this was decided on the fly because of ex's new job. (She now works in a 24/7 environment, and there's no day care between Christmas and New Year, so there was a lot of juggling.)
Non-legal holidays (Valentines, Halloween) aren't included, because that's a regular work/school day and it'll be treated as such -- whoever'd have placement that day anyway. Easter also isn't included because they don't celebrate it (they both grew up nominally Christian, but neither are churchgoers).
I suppose it helps that neither party is too emotionally attached to holidays. The court insisted on an explicit plan, though, so they did it.
Re: What is right regarding holidays? hurtnlost: Well we went into negotiations about it and this is what ended up happening:
I get even years and he gets odd years,
He gets the boys xmas eve from 9 am to 9 pm and then they come back to me and on xmas day they are with me until dec 30th b/c that is his b-day and we will alternate new years eve weekends.
Easter I have them till 1 and then he has them till 7 and then they come back to me.
We are alternating July 4th
Their birthdays we share - he will just show up.
Thanksgiving he will have them first part of week and I will have them 2nd part of week but the exchange is split halfway through the day on Thanksgiving.
I pretty much negotiated it the way I wanted b/c I wanted to be able to see my children's on the special holidays. They are 2 and 5 and those easter and xmas are big deals when they are little so hopefully all will go well.
However we were sitting in negotiations and he gets 3 weeks a year with them and he said right in front of the lawyers I am not sure if I will be able to do my 3 weeks cause I will be too busy with work. I just shook my head. Unbelievable!
I hope everyone's custody goes good with the holidays.
