Re: Gotta walk away from my friend mrlament: i dont know newlife,
its sounds to me youre just dealing w/ the uncertainty of begining a serious relationship. why not just continue being friends...even if does come with "benefits" for you both...that may be a good thing, prehaps i read your post incorrectly...especially because my wife has a "new friend"
lets call him "her ride" she dosent drive. but by all accounts she's happy. it's probrably hard to make yourself vournarable again, i wouldnt klnow, but i do know when the time comes i'll be hesitant as well...but in order to have something special you have to make your heart vournarable, if that person stomps it throws it out the window of a moving car its the chance you have to take. hope i read your thoughts right.
good luck
Re: Gotta walk away from my friend minneapolis: Wow, for a minute there I thought I changed my login name and wrote this post under someone else's name.
I'm not here to offer adivce (in fact I'm mooching off the advice you're getting), I just wanted you to know you're not alone in this situation.
Re: Gotta walk away from my friend BONILLAK: Thanks for all the kind words guys! I just love this board. I do like my friend Larry a whole lot, shit more than I should. I find him loving, caring, sensative, sexy, attractive(ok, hot as hell), has a quick mind, can keep a conversation, hard working, responsible, etc. The 2 times we have had sex, it was amazing! He treated me like I was sooo special and after a 17yr marriage I needed that. He was more romantic than my husband ever was. I would give almost anything to experience those 2 nights time and time again. This man amazes and intrigues me like no one I ever met. I was amazed by him 6 yrs ago and still am. I would take that risk with him but he is more scared than I am. One week he is pulling me close to him and one week he is pushing me away. He has told me he isn't looking for a relationship, he has told me he is scared of me, etc. But I can see in his eyes he has feelings for me, he has admitted he has a huge steel wall up and is always on guard. I just feel the woman that breaks down his guard will be one lucky woman. He will look dead into my eyes everytime I see him, his eyes pierce me and they say so much but I don't know exactly what they are saying. Like tonight when he told me friend that I won't date people because of him and then she asked if that was a good or bad thing.....he said,"Its a bad thing, I think". He had to put that "I think" in there. If he would have just said its a bad thing that I won't date others maybe I could have moved past him and start dating but him putting that "I think" leads me to believe that he is still confused and that he kinda thinks it might be a good thing that I won't date others. He and I definately get along, have chemistry, enjoy each other, etc but his guard is always up since all the crap with his stbxw. I'm just afraid I'm wasting my time with him as maybe I'll never be more than friends with benefits. I did tell him once that I felt like I was wasting my time and his answer was to either hang in there and deal with him or walk away. He has also said he would hate me to walk away and never know what might have been. If I start to pull away a bit then he drags me back. Why can't he just take the risk? I'm willing for him. I just feel like such a loser.
Re: Gotta walk away from my friend jadedangel: [color=navy"> How on earth are you a loser? I mean honestly --- you need to change that mode of thinking this instant young lady!
Seriously, though .. it sounds like he is scared , but not in a defenseless sort of way. He is being proactive about never being hurt again. He figures out that if he never lets himself get involved -- then he won't get hurt. I have done it before -- thing is -- if you are feeling that, there must on some level be something from his side. Just because you are feeling attached does not mean your a loser.
On the other hand .. I think you should also talk to him -- find out what he is even thinking. If you just walk away -- what does that really say about you? He is a good friend .. and that is what he was before any of this started -- keep it that way at the very least. [/color">
