Re: Feeling sorry for the ex...and issues w/ transferrence BONILLAK: I really don't think he does hurt. I don't think he feels at all anymore and its almost creepy. I don't think he hurts, misses or loves. I mean how can a human who can really feel, parent and be with their family everyday for 17yrs and then run off during the night never to look back? He has never even taken a stitch of clothes from here. He left with nothing and says he needs nothing! Weird!
Re: Feeling sorry for the ex...and issues w/ transferrence jadedangel: [color=navy"> Minn ..
I go through periods of this. There are things in my ex's life that are not so great. I know he is having a hard time with certain things and I know maybe it really is all karma. But -- I still feel so bad for him. How stupid is that -- he is the one who left -- he is the one who has the new girlfriend! ..
But, despite this -- he has had health problems and his new gf just doesn't get it. He doesn't have the support system he really needs. He lost his job and now is having money issues -- ok so what does lame a$$ me do --- I give him money (oh please don't remind me I am living on a school budgeted loan) ...
I know he hurt me .. and still continues to do so. But -- I think part of it .. I was there for him for so long -- it's really awkward not to 'feel' like I should be there for him. It doesn't help that my ex still somewhat relies on me for a support -- but, I let him. I know .. he is not my problem anymore. But, my devotion didn't just go away. I cared about him for years -- I can't just turn that off. Maybe your sort of having the same sort of thing.
Only thing is -- be careful and don't try to do too much. Lesson learned -- he will forget so quickly. The more I would do for my ex -- and the better it got .. the more he 'didn't need me again' ... Gee -- when things were looking up for him again, he forgot who was helping him. Damn gf ... of his -- sorry but I have a few words of thought on that subject ;) ...
So .. after all that ... I think -- it's normal to be like that for some of us. However, don't be walked all over because he likely isn't going to remember you if you need a thoughtful hand. [/color">
Re: Feeling sorry for the ex...and issues w/ transferrence Falcon554: My wife and I help eachother out. We caused enough pain to each of us for a lifetime. If I need money she gives it to me if she does I give it to her. I think no matter what when you have kids you have to put them first. And thats what we are doing. But I also know deep in my heart I can never never not be her friend.
Is is b/c you still love him???? Bree: Although I am back w/my husband trying to work it out, the pain I felt when he left me for his ex-wife was more than I've ever felt. I cried and mourned so badly and being almost 8 months pregnant did not help. It intensified the pain. Him abandoning and betraying us both! But... in the end I was crying when I saw him in pain. For me, it's because I still love him no matter what. If we hadn't gotten back together I would still cry and be sad, but I would also still hurt when I saw him hurting. I think maybe we just have a big heart and love is the most important thing. Just my 2 cents.
