"who's youre daddy" mrlament: when my wife and i meet, she already had a daughter (two) from a previous relationship, i feel i love with her as much as i did my wife.
she is 16 now, and from almost day one that she could speak she called me daddy...now that my wife has a new boyfriend and my son is...you guessed it two, i have insecurities that, ...well he will be influenced by his pressence.
i plan to be around him and my other children as much as i can possibly be,although they live in another state. they come to visit every now and then and i know he loves me and knows who i am...but i'm not there every day and perhaps its just my insecurities but...i'm not there to cut the Turkey, i'm not there when he scrapes his knee, i cant be there to tell him thats a sparrow and thats a blue jay...the everyday things a son says to himself "wow" dad you know just a bout everything about everything. to ride a bike- what if my wife asks him to teach him or he takes it upon himself? who will he be calling daddy when he's 5-6-7-8? and even if he dosent call him daddy.....who's his daddy?. i konw after my daughter met her biological father a year or so ago...she still called me daddy? because i helped her learn to ride a bike, put band-aids on her knee and watched cartoons with her, and eat capn'crunch with her...so again i ask.....if he dose all this with my son...whos his daddy? ???
Re: "who's youre daddy" 4sarah: You'll always be his daddy. As long as you have an active role in his life regardless of if he's in another state. It might be confusing for him when he's younger but once he's older he'll understand. Will he be influenced by the new man...Sure but no more than he would be influence by a step sister/brother. Just make sure your there whether in person, phone, letter, or whatever way so you can teach him and help him grow too. Do you get longer visitation since you live in another state? Or how does that work. I know here my X gets them every other weekend half the time he doesn't show and he seems to influence our children quite a bit. So maybe its not quantity but quality of the time!!!!
Good luck
Sarah
Re: "who's youre daddy" BONILLAK: I don't know how ofetn you see your son but from my own experience as a child I can tell you that you will not be Daddy per se. My own biological father was never around and my stepfather taught me everything...he was my Daddy, he was the one who played with me, talked with me, taught me to ride a bike, colored with with me, did homework with me, and the list goes on. This is what I try to explain to my soon to be ex husband who doesn't want to play a big role with the kids anymore....I try telling him he will lose being their daddy. He will always be their father but a Daddy is there for them. This is why I'm sad for my kids as our oldest is 16 and he is ok, our almost 9yr old will always remember him being a good Dad turned bad and this hurts her but our youngest who just turned 3 has a good chance of some other man being Daddy someday. I still to this day have no respect for my biofather and don't like him at all because he should have been there and chose not to.
Re: "who's youre daddy" mrlament: sarah,"newlife"...thank you both, all of what you both say i finf sobering and sadning...but i asked :'( - i guess you, i mean "I" shouldnt ask questions you know the answer to. :-X
btw were not divorced, and have no custody papers in place...she says she wants me to "be a part of their lives" but... i feel in my heart every day how much i'm loosing them all. i hurt, badly, every day is worse than the previous.
thanks for the input
Re: "who's youre daddy" BONILLAK: I didn't want to give you an answer that hurts but I wanted to be honest and tell you how I feel about it because I was one of those kids and it was my first hand experience with it. I wish my husband would be as concerned as you are about as he doesn't even care anymore. Since you care and know what can happen it will make you be there anyway you can. I mean only YOU can make it either happen or not.
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