oh, karma... flowersdirtandgardengirl: So I'm doing a little bit of retrospection, found an old email from my only other significant, adult relationship prior to the one that landed me here on ojar.
The strange thing is, I don't remember mourning that relationship much at all. My life got almost instantly better. All I remembered was me. I figured that it was as easy for my ex, since we truly had such a unloving dynamic, assumned that since I was having a blast, so must he.
Then I re-read this letter and it just broke my heart. It is so close in heart to what I would say to my ex whom I just separated from. Everything from feeling alienated from the friends, to remembering all the good times, thinking we might have a future together, missing me, being hurt. And I read this letter at one point, but was so wrapped up in myself that I don't even remember his pain. All I was thinking about was me, my new, hot re-bound boyfriend and all of our friends and how great life had become.
Sounds a little familiar. Makes me a) glad I never sent similar letters to my recent heartache given how poorly I recieved it and b) write to my old ex and tell him, years later, that I'm sorry I was such a s--t.
Not sure I'll do either. It gives me pause, though. My old ex is in a really good place now. He's got an amazing girl, is in his 2nd year of law school, loves his city and has great, new friends. I know his life is infinitely better for having moved on.
Just food for thought, I guess.
~gg
