Re: They never change dontgetit: Well I have to say I do not agree - my wife gave me many chances, in our 20 year marriage she did come back not once, not twice, not three times - more like four....Every time I thought it could be different trouble is we never addressed the issues that caused the split....
As soon as she came back it was business as usual (and a huge sigh of releive)...
In my situation she left this last time with a man she has known for a very short time (left a daughter behind as well - getting away from me was just that important to her that she gave her heart to the first man that said I love you.....incidentaly he left his marriage the same day).....
The rub is for the first time I actually looked inward - NOT AT HER and can see all the reasons she left for were valid....If given one more opportunity (with all the new tools I have discovered I think we could "fix" it)......
For me this time feels very different, so I doubt I will get that chance - where I am going with this is things can be fixed IF YOU WANT TO FIX THEM and you can convince your spouse that FINALLY you are ready....
Give the lady some space, act like a gentleman and see what happens - god can work miracles and if it is in his plan it will happen...
Stay away from a new relationship until this one is either fixed or dead - you are not fit for another partner and would no doubt infect that with your current mindset....
That last statement made - look at my wife happy with a man she frankly has known for all of two months, so perhaps I am wrong about everything
Re: They never change mine: i would just like to say .........that thay can come back and it can be better than ever............
Re: They never change lilly10: Well I think there is such a small percentage of them that actually come back. I was in denial for a good month over this. Part of it was me and part of it was the mixed signals he gave me. I agree for the most part they dont come back and I tell you the day I accepted this I was much better off. No more wasting my energy on something that will not happen. My thought process now is about healing and moving on and when those thoughts do creep up on me and I think that maybe someday we will be together again I do my best to just chase them away.
This is a reality that we need to face. Hanging onto hope right now would just hurt me even more.
Re: They never change Falcon554: I know if I had another chance our marriage would be soooooooo much better. I have learned alot over the last 6 months and so has my wife. Alot of pain tho and I mean alot.
It can happen, but the chances are slim. But you never know what the future will hold. If you told me a year ago I would be where im at now I would of thought you were nuts.
Re: They never change Hopeless: I would like to add, we have 2 kids together and logically it would seem worthwhile to try to make this work between us. No one will treat my children better than I will. She already knows that I love her and respect her, so thats a no brainer.
Due to the fact that she wont even try, leads me down the path of moving on. I cannot control her, nor will I try. She is on her own, all alone (I think).
This is my last post on this site, I wanted to thank everyone for there efforts to help me along this path, but I find myself more angry and upset reading the posts from others.
Thanks to all and good luck.
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