Re: Been a little over a month since the bomb dropped Whirlpool: [quote author=lilly10 link=topic=22075.msg205565#msg205565 date=1133029444">
Hi Whirlpool,
I lived in the same house with my ex for the first month or so after the bomb was dropped it was AWFUL! I was grieving and overwhelmed with all the hurt and I just cried all the time. He was off with his other woman having a grand ol time for himself. I could not even start the healing process with him still at the house because he would just give me mixed signals or be a heatless b@stard. Some how you guys need to figure out a way to get out from under the same roof. Can one of you stay with a friend or family member temporarily? My ex stays with some co-workers well now I think he lives with the other woman (above her mothers garage) but I really dont know. We both still split the mortgage and the all the bills till the house sells.
Oh and as far as sucking it up and getting over it well if we were heartless jerks we to could just jump online or seek another relationship to cover up the pain. That is not the way to get over anything. Getting over this will take time and to bad for them if we dont just turn on the "get over it" switch.
As far as drinking well I am not much of a drinker but I did pick up smoking after quiting for 9 months after this all happend. I also have become a major shopoholic. I feel bad so what do I do go straight to the mall and spend away.
Good Luck and I want you to know that it does get easier. Stick around here and you will get tons of support.
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Wow, tons already, thank you all for your thoughts. It is nice to see how misery can bring the best out of people! :)
I understand totally what you mean, getting along great one minute, heartless bastard the next. Always. I don't look at it as mixed signals though, because I know it is over. I think it is that she wants things to remain amicable, but hates that she is still stuck with me, lol.
Re: Been a little over a month since the bomb dropped Whirlpool: [quote author=Falcon554 link=topic=22075.msg205572#msg205572 date=1133030265">
I to lived in the same house for a month and 1/2. Whats really weird is that for that month and 1/2 we got along great, sure there were hard times but we had some of the best times we ever had in that month and 1/2.
Very weird it was. But I agree get out. when I lived at my house my wife really went out of her way not to hurt me. no online chats, no phone calls and crap like that. Just get out as soon as you can.
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I agree Falcon, don't get me wrong because we have had some great times too. We have gone out almost every weekend, but just as friends. Nothing intimate at all, hell not even in the last year of the marriage so really nothing new. The only difference is you got the respect you deserved, I did not get it in marriage so I cannot expect it now. I have been cool with the singles site thing even though I thought it was disrespectful as hell. But hey, it's over so why fight it? The thing I don't like is we are suppose to be "buddies" and she will ignore me or shoo me off sometimes if she is chatting and I need to ask her something. Either way, I know I do need to get out of here. Saying that, I am on the first floor of hell right now, my parents live in the basement. The only other choice is to get the cheapest apartment I can find. LOL.
Re: Been a little over a month since the bomb dropped Whirlpool: [quote author=Lumpy link=topic=22075.msg205587#msg205587 date=1133031355">
[quote author=Whirlpool link=topic=22075.msg205557#msg205557 date=1133028175">
Thanks for the kind and wise words. As I once heard before, it is a big crap sandwich and we all have to take a bite.
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But you don't have to ask for seconds...
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Damn straight:)
Re: Been a little over a month since the bomb dropped Whirlpool: [quote author=hurtnlost link=topic=22075.msg205648#msg205648 date=1133044565">
whirlpool- I am very sorry to hear what you are going through. I am in a similar situation. My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for 7 when this August my husband dropped the bomb on me that he was wanting a divorce. I was and am still in shock and we are still living in the same house until the divorce finalizes and we can sell it b/c we both cannot afford it alone as well. I have really been struggling to move on as well b/c I cannot detach when he is in the same home even though he has and tells me it is no big deal I should just move on. We have 2 kids together, I did not read where you said if you had any? Anyways, all I know to tell you is there are going to be really bad days,ok days, and good days sometimes too. The thing I keep trying to tell myself is that why should I try to get my ex to come back to me and want him back when he has hurt me so bad. Part of me would want to take him back but I would not b/c if he loved me he would not have done this to me. I hope everything works out for you, stay in touch with OJAR - it is really helpful!!
adh
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Wow, talk about mirror images! I too have 2 kids. I have already experienced the rollercoaster ride from hell you speak of as well. I however am not interested in getting her back, even if she came back to me I would not see it as sincere. It is sometimes easy for me because I know how she treated me, but what BUGS the CRAP out of me is that she will soon be giving to some stranger what I have wanted for the past 5 years.
Re: Been a little over a month since the bomb dropped hurtnlost: I understand about being bugged by the fact that she would be giving herself to someone else as well. This is the biggest thing I fight with within myself right now. I look at him and think how in the world am I going to deal with the fact of him meeting someone else and loving that person like I begged him to love me. That hurts I think more than anything wondering what it will be like to see him happy with someone else, but in return I think it will sting just as bad when he sees i will move on and be happy eventually too.
adh
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