The other side of the coin crushedman: For those familiar with my story, I wanted to tell my side. You've heard her side, it is messy. Here goes:
Met her almost 4 years ago online. Instant connection. I fell in love. She didn't seem sure. There was an issue with her XBF. He was a drug addict and X drug dealer. After a few months, she learned that he was in trouble with the law. After a few days, she stopped returning my phone calls. I eventually showed up at her house to be greeted at the door by her XBF.
She called me a few months later and we began seeing each other again. However, after a time, she began talking to her X again. I began to get scared and pressure her to stop seeing him. She eventually agreed- reluctantly. Yes, I pressured her into it. However, she assured me nothing physical would happen between them. A couple of weeks later, she confessed that she had slept with him. I was devestated although she never really took responsibility for the hurt that she caused. We eventually broke up and she went back to him.
It didn't work out and we got back together. This time she seemed serious. We eventually made plans to move in together. We moved in together in January of last year. As soon as we moved in, her XBFs mother started to call. Turns out XBF was in jail. Things became weird. She caught me doing drugs. She was very upset but forgave me. Then, we went through a period of a month when things were VERY bad. She was distant, cold, and at times, cruel. Sex had always been a positive in our relationship, and for the first time she shut me out in that area.
Eventually, I learned that she had secretly gone to see her X in jail. She had lied about it. Again, I was hurt but we tried to move on.
(continued)
Re: The other side of the coin crushedman: (continued)
I eventually succumbed and was nabbed doing drugs again. This time, she broke up with me. She moved into her XBF's condo to take care of his dogs while he was in jail. Again, I was devestated. Strangly enough, we began to date again and things seemed to be returning to normal. Next, she found out that I had paid the rent late. The apartment was in her name and she was livid. She broke up with me.
However, we soon began to see each other everyday and act as if we were dating. She would never agree to an official title- but it appeared we were back together. She required that I move out and I agreed that it was only fair based on my track record.
Now, things began to go downhill. A couple of my clients didn't pay me, right when I needed the money. I got in a car accident. Very quickly, I was without money, transportation, food- everything. This is when she disappeared again. She got a new male roommate. She immediately gave me signals that she was attracted to him. And then she became cold, ruthless, and mean. She avoided me and that was the end of that.
All from Ojar- would you take this to mean that she is sleeping with the roommate? Of course I did. She maintains that they fooled around and that was it. Who knows what is the truth? I really don't care- I did the same with my xfiance so who am I to talk?
When I would call I would get the answering machine- it was awful. And I eventually decided it was time to move on. But for some reason she came back into my life.
And then we began to see each other again.
So yes, what she said is all true to a degree. And yes, I was wrong for what I did. But she was never truly committed to me. She was never loyal to me. And after a time there was a part of me that decided that if she could or would not commit to me fully, then I would be forced to respond in kind. She never even agreed to be my girlfriend again this last time!
I'm sorry, Amy- for what I did. I'm sorry that I hurt you. If you want to move on, I understand. But I am RIGHT HERE if you want to make this work. I will stand by your side in front of the Xfiance if you like. Yes, I have a drug problem- but I will do what i can to fix things. I make no excuses for what I did and I understand the pain that I have caused- I have been there myself. All I can do is say that I am sorry and that if it were possible I would take it back.
If you want me we have to come together and turn toward each other for help. You know where I stand.
Re: The other side of the coin ionysis: Um... Am I the only one who thought you were back with your ex-fiance and to quote "very much in love"???
Are you posting for us here to comment on and give advice or for your ex-gf to read? What about lost-soal (ex-fiance??) who defends you consistently?
Am throughly confused... :-\
Re: The other side of the coin happyheart: this post was from 2005...........
i was for a sec too......lol.
Re: The other side of the coin ionysis: This crap is really doing my head in now.
THIS board in particular is the one the most new people visit - people who are really raw and hurting and need help. What kind of message is this rubbish sending to those people? It is simply selfish and ignorant to be acting the fool on the pain boards. >:( >:( >:(
I have stayed out of all CM "issues" and the contentious threads to date but this whole complicated situation is now jeopardising the true essence of this place by risking putting off those who truly need help.
I really now couldn't give a damn who CM or the other CM or Elephant or Lost-Soal are but to ALL of you TAKE IT OFF these boards - have some consideration for others. >:(
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