Re: What is a "second chance?" Lumpy: [quote author=Tarheel link=topic=22088.msg205695#msg205695 date=1133053716">
Well, if that's the case, say a person asks for a second chance after you've done moved on and have your own life going on. Does the "everyone deserves a second chance" rule apply then, too?
[/quote">
In my case I'd have to say no. It's totally up to the person who's being asked. I've moved on. I rebuilt my life and my self-esteem. I'm with a lovely woman who I love dearly. There's no way I'd re-open that wound.
Re: What is a "second chance?" barelybreathing: I have realized this, there are no second chances when adultery is involved. Adultery is the death of the marriage and the irretrievable loss of love. You partner does not love you when the cheat on you. They don't respect you nor do they honor you as their "mate".
So second chances are out of the questions. Yeah, I know that there is the rare percentile that work it out and go on in the marriage. But the purity of the marriage is never the same. It is and always will be jaded and scarred with the knowledge that one spouse has had sex with someone else.
Second chances are for the marriages that adultery is NOT a factor.
BB
Re: What is a "second chance?" dontgetit: Well I read the last thread and I DO NOT AGREE....In life people make mistakes and when lust and passion take hold people do stupid things...I agree that after an affair the road to trust is long and hard, but honestly I think people cheat because something is missing in there life - I am just not so sure its about sex in a lot of cases...
So I would say that if someone earns a second chance it should be given - that is not to say that you be a smuck but if you love someone and you made a committment before god then you should work HARD at honouring that committment...
The thing that I would say though is once a person has cheated it gets easier each time - my wife has been unfaithful a number of times and always came back - she was looking for love that she was not getting at home...Our marriage was TOUGH and I suspect she thought that spreading her legs would lead her to the man of her dreams...This last time is the end of the road for me - she met a man on the internet and within 5 weeks was living in his house...maybe she got lucky I just do not know (he left his wife of 24 years for her) but if I was to lay bets she will regret this last "run" for the door SOONER than LATER - but hey I was the "dumped" one so maybe I am just dreaming...
As it sits right now she thought my daughter would go with her - guess what, the child stayed with me and I got custody....
As it sits right now she is dependant on this new man for transportation - was told she could use vehicle - guess what its a lease and she was told that it is only for his use...
Soooo, perhaps it did not work out the way she wanted - I am told she is so much in love though (a yes the honeymoon period)....
Re: What is a "second chance?" Trying2Hope: I believe that there are some things that can not be undone in this world.
I also believe that forgiveness can be given even for the worst of things.
In my case, I have long since forgiven my ex for the injuries she caused me, but they will never be undone.
If I were to give her a "second chance" it would not be a second chance at the same thing, it's a first chance at a different thing ...
Does that make sense?
Re: What is a "second chance?" ohill: I think that a "second chance" is when the offender realizes that he/she has committed (or been caught in) an offense and the offendee grants that "second chance" either by comission (I realize you screwed up, and I'm giving you another shot) or omission (I'm in denial and I'm going to turn the other way and hope that things magically get better). In either case the offender has another chance to make things right (or at least not screw up again) before the offendee severs the relationship. Once the offendee severs the relationship, all second, third, and fourth chances are out the door.
The offender doesn't necessarily have to be genuinely repentant for a second chance to be given. Lots of people fail to sever relationships because they are in denial, because they aren't strong enough to hold their ground, or because they are honestly longsuffering and waiting for the offender to get his/her act together and to mature.
Click More for the next page.
