Visiting day BONILLAK: It was an emotional day again. Today father of the year(sarcastic) came to see the kids for one of his 2 days a month visitation. He came at 8:45am with no car once again so I let him use my spare car. He took the kids to McDonalds and then wanted to go to his brothers house but the kids didn't want to go so by 11:15 they were back here since he refuses to bring them to his house or anything. I didn't have plans today because my plans were to stay home and clean all alone but next thing you know here they all were. He said he had no money to bring them anyplace else, etc. It was a very emotional day here watching them together because I can see the kids detaching themselves from him and that bothers me. Once his little Daddy's girl was back home here from McDonalds she was calling the neighborhood kids to come play outside, etc. I told her it was her 2 times a month she gets to be with and play with Dad and that she needed to spend her day with him and her answer was that she already played with him in McDonalds! She will be 9 in 2wks and it just floored me that she would rather be outside with neighbor kids than be with her father anymore. I saw many othe subtle clues to them all detaching themselves from him and told him that he is losing them and that if I were him I'd cry myself to sleep nightly and not be able to look in the mirror at what I have done. I can tell her words puerced him and I sure hope they hurt him. I also asked him if he wanted any sleepover visits ever and his answer was maybe in the future...I didn't realize our daughter was within ear shot of my asking him this and she appeared and said she wouldn't want to sleep where ever he is living in the future or now as her bed is at home where she belongs. She wasn't mad or angry when talking just serious. I actually hurt for him with their detaching actions. But he asked for it. He even complained to them about how expensive they are to feed at McDonalds and how he didn't have much money left no for himself! I did ask him at one point today if he regrets any of his decisions and he wouldn't answer, just said he didn't have to answer me. Its really sad for the kids, once again no tears shed when he was leaving. I actually feel so emotional because I see my kids still love him but they just aren't comfortable, familiar and super friendly anymore to him. He doesn't let it show but it must bother him to some point. It can't feel good to see and feel your kids detaching from you.
