back to square one turboss: Hi guys, I have been on ojar for a few months now and I had slowly but surely felt like I was regaining and putting back together my broken pieces/life. Now all of a sudden everything has started to come back on me again. Thanksgiving holidays really sucked. I allowed my (just turned one last week) daughter to go to my exes family's house on Friday for dinner. The entire time she was there plus the few days before that I have cried my eyes out and hurt and been angry all over again...i thought i was over these stages??? While I am at home crying...my husband takes his "new girlfriend" and her "kids" to my in-laws house...people have told me that they have seen him and his girlfriend all over town (very small town)...the funny thing is...we have not even BEGAN divorce proceedings...not paid, not filed, not started...how can this man be taking this woman all over town and to OUR family's house and not feel like a piece of crap??? How can this woman show her face in public and still be able to hold her head up high??? What has happened to people and consciouses and pride? Why did I have to start back over at square one when i felt sooo very much better??? Please some advice???
Turboss
Re: back to square one dumpling: turboss, i know how you feel about your husband running around with someone else and divorce papers haven't been filed. that is an absolute disgrace. it is deplorable. but you can't do anything about his lack of sensitivity or decorum. the best you can do is conduct yourself with dignity in a manner that would make your daughter proud.
as for the stages of emotion, it's been three months for me and it comes and goes. sneaks up at the most inopportune times. reappears after i thought i was doing so well. take care of yourself and good luck.
Re: back to square one flowersdirtandgardengirl: Turboss,
It started on Thursday. I woke up with this heavy, empty, hollow ache right in the center of my chest. I told myself I wasn't going to think about him, his family, their great big house in the mountains, our skiing days, his niece, his mom, his sister in law, their laughter, the wine, the great times going on as if nothing had ever changed, everyone gathered around the table, telling stories. I tried not to think about the fact that it's been just under 2 months since I left and he's already brought the new girl over to meet the family. I swear to god, I still think all my spare toiletries are still in the downstairs bathroom.
Anyway, as you can tell, I thought about little else.
So I gave myself permission to do this, for this weekend. It's just another one of the firsts, I guess. Our first real holiday apart.
I am in no place to offer advice, I am right there sitting next to you in this boat, wondering when it will finally dock to shore.
Dumpling is right. The only thing we can control is the manner we choose to conduct ourselves in public and in front of them. What we choose to do in private is our (and ojar's ;)) business alone.
Hope you're well....
love,
gg
Re: back to square one Whirlpool: So sorry to hear about your pain. I too thought I was over the hump recently and experienced a backslide. From what I have been told this will go on for much longer than any of us care to know. Even years from now you may break down a bit, the episodes just get fewer and farther in between.
It is hard for me to imagine ever getting 100% over this whole thing personally.
Re: back to square one flowersdirtandgardengirl: Years?
Oui vey....
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