Re: Ring Shopping?!?!?!? cyncyn_22: [quote author=sweetpea link=topic=22507.msg209690#msg209690 date=1134077264">
My X did the same thing, moved on VERY quickly after I booted him out for cheating on me. I laugh in a way, the new woman will eventually find out how he is in no time I'm sure. You are right, they are their problem now not ours! My X even made the best comment about himself. He's like a lost puppy that the girls he dates (myself included) want to take him in and care for him, make his problems better. Why? Because good people want to make things better, we want to fix things and make everyone happy again. Miserable people want to make everyone around them miserable as well. So when a miserable person manipulates a good person get together the miserable person puts all their problems and issues on the good person so they feel less horrible & guility about their own life. So they feel healed, then they move on because they feel free again. Part of leaving their past behind is leaving you behind, afterall they unloaded all their problems on us! Sad thing is, those problems follow them, as they always will until they deal with them. Eventually we will get past the pain and move on ourselves. hopefully just not to another miserable person!
[/quote">
You're absolutely right sweetpea. Our ex's are miserable people.
When I look back on his behavior while we were together, it all makes sense. I remember when we were together he would always tell me about his troubles, past and present. (and I was more than happy to be a shoulder for him to cry on. That's just how I am). He was always very open and honest about his problems and I now realize that he was probably using me, dumping all his problems on me to make him feel better about himself. He's probably doing the same to the OW right now. ::) ::)
Even today, he still doesn't mind talking to me about his problems, but he never asks about my problems or makes an attempt to comfort me in any way like he used to. He never asks things like "How are you doing?", "How's your week been?", "How's your family doing?". He just doesn't care about me or what I'm going through. He expects me to listen to him complain about his life, but then he never wants to talk about how I'm doing. :( :( :(
There has to be a name for this type of behavior. Codependency perhaps? Bipolar? Depression? I don't know. All I know is that it's his and the OW's problem now, not mine. ;) ;)
cyncyn_22
Re: Ring Shopping?!?!?!? superwife: [quote author=cyncyn_22 link=topic=22507.msg209560#msg209560 date=1134055694">
So there is a pattern of this behavior going on. He shows interest in getting married after dating somebody for only a short time. I never realized it before but I think that this may indicate that he has some mental problems.
And when I think about his background and what he's been through in his life I can understand why he may have some mental problems.
[/quote">
I don't know that I'd call his 'wanting to marry girls so early in the relationship' a mental problem, per se. And there are plenty who have not been through what your ex has been through, and are horrible, miserable, cheatin' SOBs (ie, my ex- or maybe he has a mental problem I don't know about?!?!? ???)
Anyway, it's probably more of an insecurity issue. He had an extremely troubled upbringing, and is likely looking for the stability he did not have as a child. This of course is no excuse for being a dick. And at the rate he's going, he'll never find what he's looking for. It doesn't sound like you were married? Were you engaged? And I do agree, he had it all 'figured out' already, as he moved from you to the other one. It's like a big slap in the face. But don't despair, I've had my share of face-slapping recently. That's what we're here for, to share and comisserate. :(
Re: Ring Shopping?!?!?!? cyncyn_22: [quote author=superwife link=topic=22507.msg209891#msg209891 date=1134159963">
Anyway, it's probably more of an insecurity issue. He had an extremely troubled upbringing, and is likely looking for the stability he did not have as a child. This of course is no excuse for being a dick. And at the rate he's going, he'll never find what he's looking for. It doesn't sound like you were married? Were you engaged? And I do agree, he had it all 'figured out' already, as he moved from you to the other one. It's like a big slap in the face. But don't despair, I've had my share of face-slapping recently. That's what we're here for, to share and comisserate. :(
[/quote">
No, we were never married. Never engaged either. We were planning on getting married after we finished college, and I got a decent job.
Yeah it's a huge slap in the face, but I can take comfort in the fact that I don't have to put up with his s*** anymore. He's somebody else's problem now. ::) ::)
Thanks for the encouraging words! :) :)
cyncyn_22
