Re: Ring Shopping?!?!?!? picadilly: Some people do rash & stupid things. If this woman was enough to con him into leaving an existing relationship for her, then she can con him into a ring... once he stops to think about it, he'll back peddle out soon enough. well, maybe not soon enough for you but we know he's a fool anyway so what would you expect.
Re: Ring Shopping?!?!?!? missycristin: I notice this happens often. One relationship ends and the next one seems to move like wild fire. I suppose it's more out of desperation, I mean that when relationships fail, some people jump into another one to prove something. It tends to be for the wrong reasons. I don't think that you should see it as a reflection of you or your relationship.
Just my two cents.
Re: Ring Shopping?!?!?!? cyncyn_22: You know, I was thinking yesterday about my ex and the OW wanting to get married after dating only 2 months, and I realized a pattern in his behavior:
Not long after me and my ex started dating (maybe a month or 2), he started talking about marriage. He also had previous relationship with a girl years ago that he wanted to marry (she ended up cheating on him, and they broke it off).
So there is a pattern of this behavior going on. He shows interest in getting married after dating somebody for only a short time. I never realized it before but I think that this may indicate that he has some mental problems.
And when I think about his background and what he's been through in his life I can understand why he may have some mental problems. Here's just some of the things he's been through:
1. He has 10 siblings (and many half-siblings).
2. He grew up in a dirt poor family (they were so poor that he and his brothers would have to rummage thru garbage dumpsters to find food for his family to eat). :o :o :o
3. His father allegedly molested one of his sisters (he was never actually charged with any crimes or anything though). :'( :'( ???
4. After the molestation accusation went down, he and his siblings were taken away from his parents and put into foster care (he was in his early teens when this happened).
5. He was finally adopted in his late teens.
6. Many of his siblings were adopted by families hundreds of miles from him (so he hasn't seen them in a long time).
7. His brother, whom he was very close to, molested a child and was sent to prison for a long time. :'( :'( :o ???
Of course, I knew about his past when we were together, and I tried to convince him to seek professional help to help him deal with the things that have happened to him in the past, but he refused then and he still refuses today. >:( >:( :'( :'( :'(
I feel angry about what my ex did to me, his past is no excuse for his behavior, but I also find myself praying about him, for God to help him realize and admit that he has problems and help him heal and become a happy person. I hate what he did to me, but I still want him to be happy. :'( :'( :'(
Sorry for the long-winded response, but I just thought I'd share my opinion with yall; feedback is welcome!
cyncyn_22
Re: Ring Shopping?!?!?!? Ali12377: MY X has a horrible past as well, not quite as bad but still had no parental guidence what-so-ever. He is messed up due to it and has all sorts of problems from that he's not dealing with or excepting. He just ignors it all, therefore creating even more problems. Until they realize they have a problem the cycle will continue. Many people with problems like that think "well it's the past and the past is over" then they brush it under a rug and don't deal with it. Well if they can't be adult enough to realize their past is still causing them problems today then they probably will not change.
It took me a LONG time to realize that about my X and that conclusion only came about after dealing with other people in my life going through the same thing in a sense. I feel bad for them, pitty them really. I feel like saying "face it and you will be able to move past it. I will help you" But if they come to terms with their past even happening there's nothing I can do to help.
My X did the same thing, moved on VERY quickly after I booted him out for cheating on me. I laugh in a way, the new woman will eventually find out how he is in no time I'm sure. You are right, they are their problem now not ours! My X even made the best comment about himself. He's like a lost puppy that the girls he dates (myself included) want to take him in and care for him, make his problems better. Why? Because good people want to make things better, we want to fix things and make everyone happy again. Miserable people want to make everyone around them miserable as well. So when a miserable person manipulates a good person get together the miserable person puts all their problems and issues on the good person so they feel less horrible & guility about their own life. So they feel healed, then they move on because they feel free again. Part of leaving their past behind is leaving you behind, afterall they unloaded all their problems on us! Sad thing is, those problems follow them, as they always will until they deal with them. Eventually we will get past the pain and move on ourselves. hopefully just not to another miserable person!
Re: Ring Shopping?!?!?!? Graham1675: I found ot that my ex and the om where dateing before we were even seperated. :o She and i also hung out with this other guy, guess i should have seen the signs but i put the blinders on. Its funny how people can do that. 2 days after the divorice was final she was married to him. Go figure.
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